Friday, July 31, 2009
Introducing "Mommy"
So up until now I "Mama" have been the voice of this blog, but yesterday my wife, aka "Mommy", expressed interest in participating and writing her own posts to add her perspective on raising our twins. Hopefully she will post often. She will be posting in different font and color to distinguish who is who. Since we have decided not to use our names, we will be just Mama and Mommy until we can think of something more clever. Welcome aboard!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Breastfeeding Update...
Today I got the ok from the pediatrician to exclusively breastfeed the big guy. We have been practicing and until it gets closer to the time I will be going back to work, we are going to limit his bottlefeeding to only when I am not around to breastfeed him. Then, we will proceed with my original plan. So far, it has been great! I was able to breastfeed him once we were in the room waiting for the doctor and we had no meltdowns (like we usually do) he is also much happier afterwards as opposed to when he gets the bottle. The little guy still gets his 10 minute sessions once per day, and he enjoys them. I am also pumping 6 times per day taking a break at night when they sleep, so its more manageable. I think I just might be able to do this! My goal is to provide breastmilk (one way or the other) for at least a year...4 months down, 8 to go!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
To Breastfeed, or Not to Breastfeed...
Let me start out by saying that breastfeeding/pumping in itself is not easy. Its exhausting, time consuming, and requires a ton of patience. Breastfeeding or pumping for twins...just plain crazy! But I insisted I'd do it.
When the twins were born we immediately asked for a lactation consultant so we can discuss my breastfeeding options. I knew since they were preemies it was going to be difficult, but I wanted to try. I really did not want to formula feed our babies.
The only part about my whole hospital stay and delivery that I LOVED were the lactation consultants. They were so helpful, offering daily one on one with each baby, lots of tips, and they gave me so much free stuff! When you have babies in the NICU and want to breastfeed they provide you with everything you need to get started (minus the pump). I got 4 Med.ela pumping kits to connect to the hospital pumps, 4 sets of Breastshields with the connectors and membranes, bags for steaming your equipment, nipple cream, wipes to clean your pump before and after use, extra tubing, nipple shields for when I practice latching, and unlimited bottles and bags for freezing the milk. I stocked up while we were there and still have a good 6 months worth of supplies. Aside from the supplies, they were immensely helpful with the breastfeeding and pumping.
Since the little guy was on oxygen and needed his breastmilk fortified every feed, I didn't want to breastfeed him right away. So, I started working with the big guy while he was still in the NICU, but it was frustrating for us both. His latch was good but his mouth was still too small. We tried using nipple shields but the one that fit me was still too big for him to handle. We tried about once a day and he probably actually fed once for like 15 minutes. I was a little disappointed that we weren't able to do it, but figured we'd try at home when he was bigger.
The problem is, by the time they made it home, they had 2 months of bottlefeeding (I have been only pumping since they were born). Usually once they have been bottlefed for so long they don't like to breastfeed because it takes more work as opposed to the bottle that just drips into their mouths. We tried anyway.
The first month didn't go so well. He literally ripped the skin right off leaving me raw! Not fun. It took a little over a week to heal and I still had to pump despite the pain, so as not to lose my milk supply. I swore I was done with breastfeeding! But I waited awhile and when it seemed like we were both ready I tried again, and again, and again. Each time the pain was less. We probably "practiced" like once a week. I didn't think we'd ever get to the point where he'd actually be satisfied with just the breastfeeding, but I wanted him to get familiar with it. My goal was really just to be able to comfort him long enough for our car bottle warmer to warm his bottle so he isn't crying the whole time.
Once he reached "term" which was the date he was supposed to be born, our sessions started to get much better and about 3 months after he was born (1 month after his actual due date) he finally breastfed and fell asleep (meaning he ate enough to be satisfied). I could not believe it. It took 3 months!!
This whole time I only worked with him because I figured the little guy couldn't do it if the big guy wasn't able to. Once the big guy finally fed and fell asleep, I wanted to try with the little guy. He was off his oxygen, making it easier, and he was already 3 months old, so he was bigger. I wasn't sure how he'd do since we never even practiced, so I didn't expect much.
The first time he rooted for it but did not latch, so I gave him his bottle. The next day we tried again and he latched and ate for like 10 minutes! The problem is, because he is smaller we have to fortify every bottle with the human milk fortifier (HMF) so I can't exclusively breastfeed him for a whole meal until he is off the HMF.
This is where it gets tricky. At this point I could exclusively breastfeed the big guy and pump for the little guy (after he gets his 10 minute session) but, I'd be feeding and pumping ALL day! And there are pros and cons to each.
Breastfeeding PRO: The reason I kept at the breastfeeding was so that I wouldn't be chained to my pump and we could actually go somewhere. When the babies got hungry I could just breastfeed them until their bottles were ready (or they were satisfied).
Breastfeeding CON: If I were to only breastfeed I would lose my extra milk supply because your body works on the supply and demand philosophy. So if the babies are only eating so much, my body would eventually go back to only making what they eat.
Pumping PRO: The only thing good about pumping is that I know exactly how much milk they are getting. Also, I know that I can pump more than they eat so I can always have milk to store (for when I go back to work).
Pumping CON: I pump every 3 hours and from start to finish it took about an hour. So really, I only had 2 hours before I had to do it again. I even bought a travel charger to use my pump in the car while my wife drove if we were going to be out longer. Its a total pain in the ass! We already have a ton of crap to take with us anywhere and then we had my pumping stuff. I had to take my pump, bottles, pumping equipment, an ice pack and cooler to keep my expressed milk cold, and bags to put my used shields in when I was done.
The other thing is all the washing. I now have 8 sets of shields and a ton of bottles so that we don't have to wash my stuff each time I pump, but its still extra stuff to wash, dry and put away. Whereas, if you breastfeed to just pop out the boob and then put it back. Nothing to wash, nothing to carry.
Yesterday I breastfed the big guy all day not giving him a bottle at all and then I pumped for the little guy once I was done with each feeding, and I was exhausted!! But it went fairly well.
So I have decided to just do both. I'm going to breastfeed the big guy in the morning, (like I would before I go to work), give him 3 bottles throughout the day (when I would be at work) and then breastfeed him again in the evening and before bed (when I'd be home from work). I would still pump while at work and after every other breastfeeding session with the big guy. This should give me enough milk for both their bottles and a little extra for storage. As for the little guy, I will give him 10 minutes before his evening feed to keep him familiar with it until he is off the HMF and I can breastfeed him the same as the big guy. Hopefully everyone cooperates with Mama's new plan...Wish us luck!
When the twins were born we immediately asked for a lactation consultant so we can discuss my breastfeeding options. I knew since they were preemies it was going to be difficult, but I wanted to try. I really did not want to formula feed our babies.
The only part about my whole hospital stay and delivery that I LOVED were the lactation consultants. They were so helpful, offering daily one on one with each baby, lots of tips, and they gave me so much free stuff! When you have babies in the NICU and want to breastfeed they provide you with everything you need to get started (minus the pump). I got 4 Med.ela pumping kits to connect to the hospital pumps, 4 sets of Breastshields with the connectors and membranes, bags for steaming your equipment, nipple cream, wipes to clean your pump before and after use, extra tubing, nipple shields for when I practice latching, and unlimited bottles and bags for freezing the milk. I stocked up while we were there and still have a good 6 months worth of supplies. Aside from the supplies, they were immensely helpful with the breastfeeding and pumping.
Since the little guy was on oxygen and needed his breastmilk fortified every feed, I didn't want to breastfeed him right away. So, I started working with the big guy while he was still in the NICU, but it was frustrating for us both. His latch was good but his mouth was still too small. We tried using nipple shields but the one that fit me was still too big for him to handle. We tried about once a day and he probably actually fed once for like 15 minutes. I was a little disappointed that we weren't able to do it, but figured we'd try at home when he was bigger.
The problem is, by the time they made it home, they had 2 months of bottlefeeding (I have been only pumping since they were born). Usually once they have been bottlefed for so long they don't like to breastfeed because it takes more work as opposed to the bottle that just drips into their mouths. We tried anyway.
The first month didn't go so well. He literally ripped the skin right off leaving me raw! Not fun. It took a little over a week to heal and I still had to pump despite the pain, so as not to lose my milk supply. I swore I was done with breastfeeding! But I waited awhile and when it seemed like we were both ready I tried again, and again, and again. Each time the pain was less. We probably "practiced" like once a week. I didn't think we'd ever get to the point where he'd actually be satisfied with just the breastfeeding, but I wanted him to get familiar with it. My goal was really just to be able to comfort him long enough for our car bottle warmer to warm his bottle so he isn't crying the whole time.
Once he reached "term" which was the date he was supposed to be born, our sessions started to get much better and about 3 months after he was born (1 month after his actual due date) he finally breastfed and fell asleep (meaning he ate enough to be satisfied). I could not believe it. It took 3 months!!
This whole time I only worked with him because I figured the little guy couldn't do it if the big guy wasn't able to. Once the big guy finally fed and fell asleep, I wanted to try with the little guy. He was off his oxygen, making it easier, and he was already 3 months old, so he was bigger. I wasn't sure how he'd do since we never even practiced, so I didn't expect much.
The first time he rooted for it but did not latch, so I gave him his bottle. The next day we tried again and he latched and ate for like 10 minutes! The problem is, because he is smaller we have to fortify every bottle with the human milk fortifier (HMF) so I can't exclusively breastfeed him for a whole meal until he is off the HMF.
This is where it gets tricky. At this point I could exclusively breastfeed the big guy and pump for the little guy (after he gets his 10 minute session) but, I'd be feeding and pumping ALL day! And there are pros and cons to each.
Breastfeeding PRO: The reason I kept at the breastfeeding was so that I wouldn't be chained to my pump and we could actually go somewhere. When the babies got hungry I could just breastfeed them until their bottles were ready (or they were satisfied).
Breastfeeding CON: If I were to only breastfeed I would lose my extra milk supply because your body works on the supply and demand philosophy. So if the babies are only eating so much, my body would eventually go back to only making what they eat.
Pumping PRO: The only thing good about pumping is that I know exactly how much milk they are getting. Also, I know that I can pump more than they eat so I can always have milk to store (for when I go back to work).
Pumping CON: I pump every 3 hours and from start to finish it took about an hour. So really, I only had 2 hours before I had to do it again. I even bought a travel charger to use my pump in the car while my wife drove if we were going to be out longer. Its a total pain in the ass! We already have a ton of crap to take with us anywhere and then we had my pumping stuff. I had to take my pump, bottles, pumping equipment, an ice pack and cooler to keep my expressed milk cold, and bags to put my used shields in when I was done.
The other thing is all the washing. I now have 8 sets of shields and a ton of bottles so that we don't have to wash my stuff each time I pump, but its still extra stuff to wash, dry and put away. Whereas, if you breastfeed to just pop out the boob and then put it back. Nothing to wash, nothing to carry.
Yesterday I breastfed the big guy all day not giving him a bottle at all and then I pumped for the little guy once I was done with each feeding, and I was exhausted!! But it went fairly well.
So I have decided to just do both. I'm going to breastfeed the big guy in the morning, (like I would before I go to work), give him 3 bottles throughout the day (when I would be at work) and then breastfeed him again in the evening and before bed (when I'd be home from work). I would still pump while at work and after every other breastfeeding session with the big guy. This should give me enough milk for both their bottles and a little extra for storage. As for the little guy, I will give him 10 minutes before his evening feed to keep him familiar with it until he is off the HMF and I can breastfeed him the same as the big guy. Hopefully everyone cooperates with Mama's new plan...Wish us luck!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Gratitude
Today we took the little guy to see his pulmonologist (lung doctor) at our local children's hospital. We told him how and why he is no longer on his oxygen and waited for his approval, which he gave us. He said he looked great and lowered his meds even further. The little guy even gained 3 lbs since he last saw him a month ago. Today he weighed 9lbs 14 oz, a long way from my 3lb 4 oz baby he used to be! Great news on both fronts! If nothing changes, we don't have to go back until October. Words cannot express how relieved I am.
Initially we were told he could be on oxygen for six months to a year or even longer, and here we are only a month after coming home from the NICU and he's completely off the oxygen and on less than half of the meds he came home on. Amazing.
The doctor is a really nice man, said all he needed to do was keep on growing and answered all our questions. I really like the hospital and how organized and timely they are but its such an eye opener to see all the sick babies and kids. I am constantly reminded how lucky we are. Even though our son was born with immature lungs, its a condition that with time, will self correct. Not many parents there are so fortunate. Even though we've had a tough time, there are mommies there who have had it worse. Every time I go there I leave with a renewed sense of gratitude, for my babies and our circumstances, no matter how difficult they may be.
Initially we were told he could be on oxygen for six months to a year or even longer, and here we are only a month after coming home from the NICU and he's completely off the oxygen and on less than half of the meds he came home on. Amazing.
The doctor is a really nice man, said all he needed to do was keep on growing and answered all our questions. I really like the hospital and how organized and timely they are but its such an eye opener to see all the sick babies and kids. I am constantly reminded how lucky we are. Even though our son was born with immature lungs, its a condition that with time, will self correct. Not many parents there are so fortunate. Even though we've had a tough time, there are mommies there who have had it worse. Every time I go there I leave with a renewed sense of gratitude, for my babies and our circumstances, no matter how difficult they may be.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Family
My wife and I both have small families. We don't have much extended family (that we are close to) and really only have our moms (I have my Dad but he's out of the country) and siblings (I have one little sister and she has one older brother). Our moms are super supportive of both our relationship and our decision to start our family, and in that alone we are blessed. We are both really really close to our moms.
As for siblings, my little sister is only 11, but loves my wife and was really excited when we told her we were having twins. My wifes brother is 40 and married with 2 kids. They are religious, and although not in agreement with our lifestyle, they respect our relationship and were excited for our boys. I don't expect they will play a major role in our kids lives, and I'm ok with that.
I've always been pretty independent and am used to handling things on my own and not relying on others for help. That being said, these last 3 months have been a roller coater ride of events and I don't think we could have made it without the love and support of our moms. I'm especially thankful that my mom lives so close to us (like 10 houses away in our same community). When I first found out we were having twins I panicked, but knowing she would be taking care of them when we went back to work helped ease my fears. As you can imagine day care for two can get expensive, and after everything we have been through, the last thing I wanted was to leave my babies with a stranger again. I know not everyone has their moms willing to quit their jobs to care for their baby so for this we are super grateful.
My mom has been a really big help to us. She comes over and cleans our house from top to bottom, sends us leftovers, and helps us with the babies ALL THE TIME! She even committed to coming over at 6am twice a week for a few hours so my wife can coach her soccer team (and she's not even on the clock yet!). She isn't officially watching the babies until late August when my wife goes back to work, and then it will be her and I until I go back to work, and then its just her... so for now she is in "training". So far she is able to change, feed, and comfort both babies, and they love her. She just started preparing their bottles on her own (we have too add in the breastmilk fortifier to give the boys extra calories and nutrients since they missed their last 2 months in utero) and giving the little guy his meds, breathing treatments, and vitamin. She is doing awesome. Not that I expected anything less (my lil sister was a preemie and had her apnea monitor when she came home) but it was tough for us and we are the mommies, its a lot to ask of grandma.
The best thing about my mom is she understands me and my ways. I don't have to sugarcoat and she doesn't take it personally when I need my space. She isn't overly smothering and doesn't step on our toes. When the boys were first born, I went through a phase of not wanting to see anyone, including her, and not letting anyone see the boys until they were out of their incubators. She completely understood and kept her distance. She called me everyday to see how we were all doing but stayed away until I was outta my funk. She never complained, and as soon as I wanted her there, she was. Just. Like. That.
My wife gets mad because I don't always thank her and tell her I love her (the way she does with her mom) but that's just not our way. I'm not a super mushy "I love you" kinda person and neither is my mom. But we both know the feeling is mutual. I have never needed my mom more than I do now, and I do love her and appreciate her more than ever.
My Mother-In-Law (MIL) is the complete opposite. She says "I Love You" a thousand times a day to everyone except the postman, and she means it (she also really doesn't like the postman-but that's a different story). She is my wifes biggest fan (second to me of course) and though they say otherwise, still spoils her rotten. She is very super thoughtful and remembers every important date. She even knows when our dog Lucy first barked (which took a while)!
It took me a bit to get comfortable with the constant "loving" cause its just not my style, and sometimes it is still too much for me, but I do appreciate the fact that she love us and just wants us to know it. She is very protective of us, our relationship and especially of our boys, and its sweet. She would do anything for us.
She is always thinking about us and what she could do to make things easier on us. She loves to shop and always find us stuff we don't even know we need! Since we have been spending most our days in our bedroom with the babies, she set out to make it more comfortable for us, and went out and bought us a whole new bedding (complete with a comforter set, sheets, pillows, and even those chair pillows to support our backs while feeding) and we were so so thankful. Its amazing how something so simple could completely change your mood!
She helps us out with errands (since we don't leave the house much), bottle washing and even brings us groceries. She is pretty good about knowing what we need without us having to ask (I hate to ask for help, but with twins, you really need it!). She reads baby books and magazines to find useful tips and baby items we may need and never forgets to pick up a lil something for our first babies (the furry ones).
She lives a little further (about 40 minutes away) so she can't be here everyday like she would like to be and she still works full time. She comes to visit us about twice a week and helps out with the babies while she is here. She is not really hands on, because the boys are still too small for her, but she is learning. Before I got pregnant she swore she would never change a diaper, and not even a month after they were home she was already getting peed on!
I know she wishes she could be here more often, and misses the babies when she isn't. We love her for all she does for us, and for being our number one supporter... But mostly, I love how she loves them so much.
I've come to realize that with family its not so much quantity as it is about quality. We are lucky to have two amazing moms, examples of who we want to be for our boys, and I wouldn't trade them for a hundred other family members. They are my constant reminder of how truly lucky we are and how no matter how old, smart, or independent you think you are, a girl will always need her mom.
As for siblings, my little sister is only 11, but loves my wife and was really excited when we told her we were having twins. My wifes brother is 40 and married with 2 kids. They are religious, and although not in agreement with our lifestyle, they respect our relationship and were excited for our boys. I don't expect they will play a major role in our kids lives, and I'm ok with that.
I've always been pretty independent and am used to handling things on my own and not relying on others for help. That being said, these last 3 months have been a roller coater ride of events and I don't think we could have made it without the love and support of our moms. I'm especially thankful that my mom lives so close to us (like 10 houses away in our same community). When I first found out we were having twins I panicked, but knowing she would be taking care of them when we went back to work helped ease my fears. As you can imagine day care for two can get expensive, and after everything we have been through, the last thing I wanted was to leave my babies with a stranger again. I know not everyone has their moms willing to quit their jobs to care for their baby so for this we are super grateful.
My mom has been a really big help to us. She comes over and cleans our house from top to bottom, sends us leftovers, and helps us with the babies ALL THE TIME! She even committed to coming over at 6am twice a week for a few hours so my wife can coach her soccer team (and she's not even on the clock yet!). She isn't officially watching the babies until late August when my wife goes back to work, and then it will be her and I until I go back to work, and then its just her... so for now she is in "training". So far she is able to change, feed, and comfort both babies, and they love her. She just started preparing their bottles on her own (we have too add in the breastmilk fortifier to give the boys extra calories and nutrients since they missed their last 2 months in utero) and giving the little guy his meds, breathing treatments, and vitamin. She is doing awesome. Not that I expected anything less (my lil sister was a preemie and had her apnea monitor when she came home) but it was tough for us and we are the mommies, its a lot to ask of grandma.
The best thing about my mom is she understands me and my ways. I don't have to sugarcoat and she doesn't take it personally when I need my space. She isn't overly smothering and doesn't step on our toes. When the boys were first born, I went through a phase of not wanting to see anyone, including her, and not letting anyone see the boys until they were out of their incubators. She completely understood and kept her distance. She called me everyday to see how we were all doing but stayed away until I was outta my funk. She never complained, and as soon as I wanted her there, she was. Just. Like. That.
My wife gets mad because I don't always thank her and tell her I love her (the way she does with her mom) but that's just not our way. I'm not a super mushy "I love you" kinda person and neither is my mom. But we both know the feeling is mutual. I have never needed my mom more than I do now, and I do love her and appreciate her more than ever.
My Mother-In-Law (MIL) is the complete opposite. She says "I Love You" a thousand times a day to everyone except the postman, and she means it (she also really doesn't like the postman-but that's a different story). She is my wifes biggest fan (second to me of course) and though they say otherwise, still spoils her rotten. She is very super thoughtful and remembers every important date. She even knows when our dog Lucy first barked (which took a while)!
It took me a bit to get comfortable with the constant "loving" cause its just not my style, and sometimes it is still too much for me, but I do appreciate the fact that she love us and just wants us to know it. She is very protective of us, our relationship and especially of our boys, and its sweet. She would do anything for us.
She is always thinking about us and what she could do to make things easier on us. She loves to shop and always find us stuff we don't even know we need! Since we have been spending most our days in our bedroom with the babies, she set out to make it more comfortable for us, and went out and bought us a whole new bedding (complete with a comforter set, sheets, pillows, and even those chair pillows to support our backs while feeding) and we were so so thankful. Its amazing how something so simple could completely change your mood!
She helps us out with errands (since we don't leave the house much), bottle washing and even brings us groceries. She is pretty good about knowing what we need without us having to ask (I hate to ask for help, but with twins, you really need it!). She reads baby books and magazines to find useful tips and baby items we may need and never forgets to pick up a lil something for our first babies (the furry ones).
She lives a little further (about 40 minutes away) so she can't be here everyday like she would like to be and she still works full time. She comes to visit us about twice a week and helps out with the babies while she is here. She is not really hands on, because the boys are still too small for her, but she is learning. Before I got pregnant she swore she would never change a diaper, and not even a month after they were home she was already getting peed on!
I know she wishes she could be here more often, and misses the babies when she isn't. We love her for all she does for us, and for being our number one supporter... But mostly, I love how she loves them so much.
I've come to realize that with family its not so much quantity as it is about quality. We are lucky to have two amazing moms, examples of who we want to be for our boys, and I wouldn't trade them for a hundred other family members. They are my constant reminder of how truly lucky we are and how no matter how old, smart, or independent you think you are, a girl will always need her mom.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
"Baby Downtime"
When the boys first came home from the NICU we kept them on their feeding schedules (which were a half hour apart) and bathing schedule of every third day. We have since changed their baths to every other day and will soon be moving to daily baths. Bathing two babies is quite the production and requires some good timing and good luck!
We usually bathe them right before their evening feeding so they can go to bed right after, although it doesn't always work out that way. We start with the baby that is most fussy or awake and while I bathe my wife gets the bottles ready. Today we started with the little guy, I bathed him and then passed him on to her to get his lotion massage and get his jammies on. She then started his feeding while I prepped for baby number two. I then started the big guys bath, rinse and repeat. By the time we are done we should have two clean, fed, and sleeping babies. Today that was not the case.
Just as soon as they were both asleep, we laid them down in their playpen, I got one picture and then it was all over. Our "baby down time" was short lived. Instead of cleaning up our bath time mess while my wife starts OUR dinner, we are both back on our bed each with a baby in arms.
Good thing my mother-in-law is coming to visit and she always brings her baby-holding arms with her so one of us can actually get stuff done around here! I don't know what I'd do if I were home alone. How do stay at home moms handle two babies at once when their other half goes back to work? I don't like being outnumbered, and if we could afford it I would have a third person on hand at all times to do the stuff we can't do -like feed us!
We had tried to keep them on their NICU schedule but soon after the little guy came home that schedule went out the window. No matter how hard I try to scatter their feedings, they always wake up and want to eat together. Funny thing is they don't always sleep at the same time. Usually after they eat one will sleep while the other is awake and then they switch for the next round.
I made the mistake of letting the big guy sleep on my chest for the month that his brother was still in the NICU...now that's the only way he will stay asleep. Every time I try to put him down he wakes up! Since we have both boys home now, we are working on getting him to sleep in his crib again. Its a rare treat to have two babies asleep at once-in their cribs...maybe its a twin thing, but we are hoping they grow out of it....and SOON.
Friday, July 24, 2009
The Nursery
So I have had our nursery done since I was 5 months pregnant. I spent so much time on bedrest that I shopped online all day and when the stuff came in my wife and I went to home.depot to pick out our wall colors and a week later the room was painted. She put together the furniture as it came in, and little by little it all came together. I love the end product! Only thing is, we don't use it!
Since the boys have been home we moved all the necessities to our bedroom and setup their playpens next to our beds. We have a diaper genie, two playpens, a fan, a tummy time play gym, baby laundry basket, humidifier, nebulizer (for the little guys breathing treatments), two breastpumps and a million diapers, wipes and tubs of butt paste ALL IN OUR ROOM! Our room is big but not big enough!
Since the boys have been home we moved all the necessities to our bedroom and setup their playpens next to our beds. We have a diaper genie, two playpens, a fan, a tummy time play gym, baby laundry basket, humidifier, nebulizer (for the little guys breathing treatments), two breastpumps and a million diapers, wipes and tubs of butt paste ALL IN OUR ROOM! Our room is big but not big enough!
Meanwhile their nursery looks great! All neat and in order! They only nap in their cribs whenever we get tired of being in our room. It used to be that moving the little guy was a hassle because of the oxygen tank and monitor, but now that he isn't on oxygen anymore there really is no reason not to venture out to the rest of the house.
I had planned on having the boys in our room for the first few months regardless, but at what point is it time to move them out? I guess once they sleep longer, or we are more comfortable being away from them at night...hmmm maybe when they are 15!
I think we should start by getting them to sleep in their playpens and not in our arms first!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Our First Outing
So our official first "non-medical appointment" outing was up the street to my moms July 13th when we had a power outage. We loaded the boys in their strollers and packed our ten bags and walked them up the hill. My mom set us up in her room and locked her dogs out.
We actually had a cardiology appointment for the little guy that day so we were only at my moms long enough to do the little guys breathing treatment, pump, and eat. It was a pain to lug all their stuff with no notice and proper planning but it went ok.Yesterday we actually took them on a planned outing to our local Cos.tco. Its one of the perks of having a bigger family. Usually we only buy things in small quantities, but because we spend a lot more time at home and going out is such a hassle we are venturing out to start buying in bulk.
I pumped while we fed the boys, we burped them and put them in their carseats. I quickly packed their stuff and we were off. We used their double stroller this time (we usually use the singles that match their carseats). I love this stroller! Its a massive, long stroller but you can take the seats out and snap their carseats instead, which is a nice transition from car to stroller without waking them up. Also, it makes it easier to navigate the store with just us two.
I pushed the stroller while my wife pushed the supersized shopping cart. We had about an hour to shop and get back home before they woke up for their next feeding and I had to pump. It was more than enough time to go through each isle, pay and load up the car to get home. I started preparing their bottles in the car and as soon as we got them in the door I took them to the room, changed them and then fed them while my wife unloaded the car. It was perfect timing and a great first outing!
Today we get to enjoy some fresh mango from yesterdays shopping! Yummy!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Bringing the Little Guy Home
My mom kept telling me that the little guy just needed to be with us and then he'd get better but I wasn't so sure. Although I wanted nothing more than to bring him home, the logistics of it all proved to be a little overwhelming. He was on 2 breathing treatments twice a day, 2 reflux meds, one twice a day and one four times a day, 1 dieretic (to help get rid of fluid in his lungs) twice a day, and a polyvisol vitamin with iron that we split into two doses. Plus, he had his oxygen tanks and monitor with sensors.
His meds were scattered throughout the day and didn't always coincide with his feedings. All in all, we had something to do for him about every hour and a half around the clock...and that didn't include feeding his brother and pumping too! Needless to say the first month home we were exhausted!
The second month is getting much better. He is already off his oxygen! One day he ripped it off his face and we decided to give him a break until he started having trouble breathing (which is what his pulmonologist suggested we do, but I didn't think he was ready). Well he never desaturated! (full saturation is breathing at 100%, desaturation for him is anything less than 92%)
Days passed and I kept watching his monitor to see if he was going to need it, and nothing! When we took him to see his cardiologist (he has a very small PDA and PFO in his heart that they want to monitor-which we found out about the day he was discharged) I told him what happened and that I wanted to make sure he didn't need it and he said "his breathing and saturation looks fine to me!" Same with his pediatrician. His pulmonologist also eliminated some of his meds and lowered the doses of others to only once per day, making our routine a little more sleep friendly.
I am waiting to see his pulmonologist next week to get the official word that he no longer needs the oxygen. He is so much happier without it. As for the monitor I don't plan on giving that up anytime soon. Its just a little red light that sticks to his foot but it gives me a world of assurance. Maybe in a month or two I will be confident enough to give it up. I love that our pediatrician will let me keep it as long as I want.
Now that both boys are home and the little guy is doing better, we are having a lot more fun with them. They are even starting to sleep longer stretches at night! The little guy only gets meds twice a day now (8am and 8pm) so its much easier! I still have to wake up and pump, since I only breast feed the big guy once a day (and its still a work in progress), but at least the boys are sleeping better.
Pumping is not my favorite thing to do, but I do it because #1 Its the best for them especially since they are preemies and its easier on their digestive systems, and #2 I get ALOT of milk...so I can't really complain. With twins you sometimes have to supplement with formula because your milk supply isn't enough for both, but luckily I don't have that problem. The nurses in the NICU even joked that I should look into selling some of it! I'm hoping to go at least a year breastfeeding and maybe longer if the little guy needs it.
So far we have only gone out for doctor visits (I wanted at least 3 months before we would leave the house socially) but we have been thinking about going on a short trip to the store. Its no small feat! Just for doctor visits we pack like six bags, two strollers, two car seats, blankets, oxygen tanks and a bag for the little guys monitor and extra sensors. So we weren't really in a hurry to have any extra outings!
Also, I have finally allowed visitors (which I had limited to family only until this point-and even then was a little skiddish) so friends of ours are finally meeting our baby boys. This has been hard. With preemies you have to be extra careful that they not get sick, especially because of the little guys lung disease. So, I have to be that crazy mom that squirts people with anti-bacterial AFTER they wash their hands and BEFORE they even breathe near our boys. Thankfully everyone has been a pretty good sport about it!
After everything we've been through, I'm super excited to be where we are today. I remember praying to just get to this point where we were all home together and the little guy was off the oxygen. They say the NICU will eventually be a distant memory, and I'm looking forward to that. Until then, I am just thankful to be blessed with a wonderful wife and two adorable baby boys.
His meds were scattered throughout the day and didn't always coincide with his feedings. All in all, we had something to do for him about every hour and a half around the clock...and that didn't include feeding his brother and pumping too! Needless to say the first month home we were exhausted!
The second month is getting much better. He is already off his oxygen! One day he ripped it off his face and we decided to give him a break until he started having trouble breathing (which is what his pulmonologist suggested we do, but I didn't think he was ready). Well he never desaturated! (full saturation is breathing at 100%, desaturation for him is anything less than 92%)
Days passed and I kept watching his monitor to see if he was going to need it, and nothing! When we took him to see his cardiologist (he has a very small PDA and PFO in his heart that they want to monitor-which we found out about the day he was discharged) I told him what happened and that I wanted to make sure he didn't need it and he said "his breathing and saturation looks fine to me!" Same with his pediatrician. His pulmonologist also eliminated some of his meds and lowered the doses of others to only once per day, making our routine a little more sleep friendly.
I am waiting to see his pulmonologist next week to get the official word that he no longer needs the oxygen. He is so much happier without it. As for the monitor I don't plan on giving that up anytime soon. Its just a little red light that sticks to his foot but it gives me a world of assurance. Maybe in a month or two I will be confident enough to give it up. I love that our pediatrician will let me keep it as long as I want.
Now that both boys are home and the little guy is doing better, we are having a lot more fun with them. They are even starting to sleep longer stretches at night! The little guy only gets meds twice a day now (8am and 8pm) so its much easier! I still have to wake up and pump, since I only breast feed the big guy once a day (and its still a work in progress), but at least the boys are sleeping better.
Pumping is not my favorite thing to do, but I do it because #1 Its the best for them especially since they are preemies and its easier on their digestive systems, and #2 I get ALOT of milk...so I can't really complain. With twins you sometimes have to supplement with formula because your milk supply isn't enough for both, but luckily I don't have that problem. The nurses in the NICU even joked that I should look into selling some of it! I'm hoping to go at least a year breastfeeding and maybe longer if the little guy needs it.
So far we have only gone out for doctor visits (I wanted at least 3 months before we would leave the house socially) but we have been thinking about going on a short trip to the store. Its no small feat! Just for doctor visits we pack like six bags, two strollers, two car seats, blankets, oxygen tanks and a bag for the little guys monitor and extra sensors. So we weren't really in a hurry to have any extra outings!
Also, I have finally allowed visitors (which I had limited to family only until this point-and even then was a little skiddish) so friends of ours are finally meeting our baby boys. This has been hard. With preemies you have to be extra careful that they not get sick, especially because of the little guys lung disease. So, I have to be that crazy mom that squirts people with anti-bacterial AFTER they wash their hands and BEFORE they even breathe near our boys. Thankfully everyone has been a pretty good sport about it!
After everything we've been through, I'm super excited to be where we are today. I remember praying to just get to this point where we were all home together and the little guy was off the oxygen. They say the NICU will eventually be a distant memory, and I'm looking forward to that. Until then, I am just thankful to be blessed with a wonderful wife and two adorable baby boys.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Life in the NICU
I left out a lot of details of my hospital stay while pregnant because there is just not enough time to describe every day, but the 12 days we spent there both before and after birth were the worst days of our lives. We had the worst nursing staff imaginable, they either didn't know what they were doing or just simply didn't do what they were supposed to be doing, and needless to say I was pretty jaded and fearful for the level of care our babies would get from the nurses in the NICU.
I joke now that becoming a mom has made me the biggest bitch ever, my wife likes to say that I was just a more "challenging" mommy. Either way, I don't think any of us would have made it outta there without speaking up! Although not as bad as the nurses in L&D we had quite a few bumps in our NICU road. The doctors I loved and am still super grateful for, but not so much can be said about a few of the nurses.
Luckily the first 2 weeks were spent in the critical care bay of the NICU which we later learned is where the best nurses are assigned. During the first day and a half I couldn't even go down to the NICU because I was still on some heavy medication to try and stabilize my blood pressure. I'm happy now knowing that at least at this point our boys were still getting really good care, since I wasn't there to watch over them.
Those first two days were pretty tough not being able to see them. I felt robbed, like I knew I was pregnant and had just given birth but I had nothing to show for it. I didn't even feel like a mom. Once I was able to go down to see them, this totally changed. The first time I saw my babies I cried. They were so tiny and full of tubes and IV lines. I couldn't even touch the little guy cause he was on a ventilator. They let me hold the big guy (who at this point wasn't very big at all) and we took lots of pictures and video.
While I was still in the hospital recovering I spent most my time in the NICU learning as much as I could about our sons medical conditions and what to expect. They told us that they would be there at least until their due date which was 2 months away. Going home without them was the hardest thing I ever had to do. As it was I didn't trust the nurses and then to have to leave them with these people for hours at a time, I was lost. I called to check on them every 3 hours around the clock. I asked a million questions and wrote down all their milestones.
The big guy had a fairly easy stay. He was what they called a "feeder and grower" because he had no oxygen requirements. All he needed to do was tolerate his feedings enough to get off the IV, learn to bottle feed and grow. He did these things without much fuss, and aside from a little jaundice, he had no setbacks and came home a month earlier than expected.
The little guy on the other hand had a completely different experience. He was on the ventilator for 2 days and then CPAP for 3 days, and finally the nasal cannula for the remainder of his stay. While I was still in the hospital we had to sign a release to have an umbelical line put in to give him what he needed and check his blood with as little stress to him as possible. He was also very anemic and by the time he was a month old he needed a blood transfusion.
Since it took him longer to tolerate his feedings, he had his IVs in longer and blew out his veins every day (meaning he had to have a new IV put in constantly). To avoid the daily stress of getting poked for a new IV they asked us to sign yet another release to have a PICC line put in. This can be dangerous because its a longer IV that goes in through the arm like a regular IV but its threaded into the bigger veins close to his heart. I found out from one of our nurses that the nurse practitioner had attempted to put the line in and was unsuccessful. I was pissed that they didn't tell us when it was going to happen and more pissed that the doctor didn't do it himself (sorry but no practicing on my son). I went in the next day and insisted on being there for every procedure, and told them that I only wanted doctors to perform any procedures! They understood my concerns and had the doctor attempt the PICC line the next day.
I have to say this one was the hardest to watch. They poked him 9 times! And still couldn't get it in. Finally I said no more. I couldn't watch and it just felt like too much. The doctor agreed and said they'd try again the next day with a different doctor who is known for his keen ability to get IVs in on one shot.
The next day I had my wife go in for the second attempt because I just couldn't watch again. Of course, for her they got this great doctor who got it in on one try. Luckily he only had the PICC line in for exactly one week and then he was eating enough that he didn't need IV fluids. The remainder of his stay was due to his oxygen requirement. I spent every day and night there and called in for the few hours I spent at home. I pumped and tried to breastfeed, but with preemies its close to impossible to breastfeed them while they are so small. That first month I don't remember sleeping at all. It was a constant battle for the little guy to make sure he got the care he needed. Because he was more fragile the doctors didn't want to give him my early breast milk while I was still on medication, so I was constantly reminding the nurses that the big guy got the older milk and the little guy got the newer milk. Doesn't sound too difficult but believe me there are several times I caught them giving him the wrong milk. What made it worse was the fact that they thought they had the power to change the docs orders by saying "oh I'm sure its ok". To which I responded "NO actually it isn't take it out and give him the correct milk!" Luckily he was fed through a tube still so they could just suck it right back out.
This is where I feel like I just turned into a massive bitch. I had no patience with these idiots and I didn't have any desire to hide it. I had to make signs for their charts to say "No student nurses, No cuddle people" because no matter how many times I told them they never seemed to get it. I still don't understand why they would have student nurses in the NICU with all these fragile babies but what really got me was that they don't even ask you. As a parent you have to specifically object to having them work on your babies. Another interesting thing I learned was that they have these cuddle people that are regular volunteers that come in just to hold babies. I think it was for people who can't go in and visit with their babies that often. They are supposed to be supervised by the nurses. Since I was there like 20 hours a day they never had an opportunity to hold our babies. Thankfully! Because I watched some of them handle these little babies and they had no idea how to hold them, and the nurses would use this as break time and leave rather than supervise!
I dreaded leaving them and it became so much harder for the month that the big guy came home and the little guy was still there. My wife was still working and so I had to stay home with the big guy all day and then when she came home I'd spend the evening into the early morning with the little guy at the hospital. So all day I would be calling to make sure they were doing their job. It was a fine line to walk cause I want to make sure everything is done correctly but at the same time I didn't want to piss off the person caring for my baby. I hated it!
The little guy was there a month longer than his brother (seemed like an eternity) and was just not progressing in terms of his oxygen requirement. As his due date got closer the doctor started talking to us about bringing him home on oxygen. I was more than happy to do it so long as we got him outta there. At that point there was nothing they were doing for him that we couldn't do at home. I was there to do all his meds, breathing treatments, feedings, etc. anyway so why not have him home with his brother. As planned, he came home on his due date, and on oxygen. It was exactly a month later than his brother and two months after birth.
I joke now that becoming a mom has made me the biggest bitch ever, my wife likes to say that I was just a more "challenging" mommy. Either way, I don't think any of us would have made it outta there without speaking up! Although not as bad as the nurses in L&D we had quite a few bumps in our NICU road. The doctors I loved and am still super grateful for, but not so much can be said about a few of the nurses.
Luckily the first 2 weeks were spent in the critical care bay of the NICU which we later learned is where the best nurses are assigned. During the first day and a half I couldn't even go down to the NICU because I was still on some heavy medication to try and stabilize my blood pressure. I'm happy now knowing that at least at this point our boys were still getting really good care, since I wasn't there to watch over them.
Those first two days were pretty tough not being able to see them. I felt robbed, like I knew I was pregnant and had just given birth but I had nothing to show for it. I didn't even feel like a mom. Once I was able to go down to see them, this totally changed. The first time I saw my babies I cried. They were so tiny and full of tubes and IV lines. I couldn't even touch the little guy cause he was on a ventilator. They let me hold the big guy (who at this point wasn't very big at all) and we took lots of pictures and video.
While I was still in the hospital recovering I spent most my time in the NICU learning as much as I could about our sons medical conditions and what to expect. They told us that they would be there at least until their due date which was 2 months away. Going home without them was the hardest thing I ever had to do. As it was I didn't trust the nurses and then to have to leave them with these people for hours at a time, I was lost. I called to check on them every 3 hours around the clock. I asked a million questions and wrote down all their milestones.
The big guy had a fairly easy stay. He was what they called a "feeder and grower" because he had no oxygen requirements. All he needed to do was tolerate his feedings enough to get off the IV, learn to bottle feed and grow. He did these things without much fuss, and aside from a little jaundice, he had no setbacks and came home a month earlier than expected.
The little guy on the other hand had a completely different experience. He was on the ventilator for 2 days and then CPAP for 3 days, and finally the nasal cannula for the remainder of his stay. While I was still in the hospital we had to sign a release to have an umbelical line put in to give him what he needed and check his blood with as little stress to him as possible. He was also very anemic and by the time he was a month old he needed a blood transfusion.
Since it took him longer to tolerate his feedings, he had his IVs in longer and blew out his veins every day (meaning he had to have a new IV put in constantly). To avoid the daily stress of getting poked for a new IV they asked us to sign yet another release to have a PICC line put in. This can be dangerous because its a longer IV that goes in through the arm like a regular IV but its threaded into the bigger veins close to his heart. I found out from one of our nurses that the nurse practitioner had attempted to put the line in and was unsuccessful. I was pissed that they didn't tell us when it was going to happen and more pissed that the doctor didn't do it himself (sorry but no practicing on my son). I went in the next day and insisted on being there for every procedure, and told them that I only wanted doctors to perform any procedures! They understood my concerns and had the doctor attempt the PICC line the next day.
I have to say this one was the hardest to watch. They poked him 9 times! And still couldn't get it in. Finally I said no more. I couldn't watch and it just felt like too much. The doctor agreed and said they'd try again the next day with a different doctor who is known for his keen ability to get IVs in on one shot.
The next day I had my wife go in for the second attempt because I just couldn't watch again. Of course, for her they got this great doctor who got it in on one try. Luckily he only had the PICC line in for exactly one week and then he was eating enough that he didn't need IV fluids. The remainder of his stay was due to his oxygen requirement. I spent every day and night there and called in for the few hours I spent at home. I pumped and tried to breastfeed, but with preemies its close to impossible to breastfeed them while they are so small. That first month I don't remember sleeping at all. It was a constant battle for the little guy to make sure he got the care he needed. Because he was more fragile the doctors didn't want to give him my early breast milk while I was still on medication, so I was constantly reminding the nurses that the big guy got the older milk and the little guy got the newer milk. Doesn't sound too difficult but believe me there are several times I caught them giving him the wrong milk. What made it worse was the fact that they thought they had the power to change the docs orders by saying "oh I'm sure its ok". To which I responded "NO actually it isn't take it out and give him the correct milk!" Luckily he was fed through a tube still so they could just suck it right back out.
This is where I feel like I just turned into a massive bitch. I had no patience with these idiots and I didn't have any desire to hide it. I had to make signs for their charts to say "No student nurses, No cuddle people" because no matter how many times I told them they never seemed to get it. I still don't understand why they would have student nurses in the NICU with all these fragile babies but what really got me was that they don't even ask you. As a parent you have to specifically object to having them work on your babies. Another interesting thing I learned was that they have these cuddle people that are regular volunteers that come in just to hold babies. I think it was for people who can't go in and visit with their babies that often. They are supposed to be supervised by the nurses. Since I was there like 20 hours a day they never had an opportunity to hold our babies. Thankfully! Because I watched some of them handle these little babies and they had no idea how to hold them, and the nurses would use this as break time and leave rather than supervise!
I dreaded leaving them and it became so much harder for the month that the big guy came home and the little guy was still there. My wife was still working and so I had to stay home with the big guy all day and then when she came home I'd spend the evening into the early morning with the little guy at the hospital. So all day I would be calling to make sure they were doing their job. It was a fine line to walk cause I want to make sure everything is done correctly but at the same time I didn't want to piss off the person caring for my baby. I hated it!
The little guy was there a month longer than his brother (seemed like an eternity) and was just not progressing in terms of his oxygen requirement. As his due date got closer the doctor started talking to us about bringing him home on oxygen. I was more than happy to do it so long as we got him outta there. At that point there was nothing they were doing for him that we couldn't do at home. I was there to do all his meds, breathing treatments, feedings, etc. anyway so why not have him home with his brother. As planned, he came home on his due date, and on oxygen. It was exactly a month later than his brother and two months after birth.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Our Pregnancy
Our pregnancy was quite eventful, I think because we so easily conceived we made up for it with a very difficult pregnancy. After our first ultrasound, I was pretty nervous about having and raising twins. I was 5 weeks then and it took about a week for me to finally be excited about my twin pregnancy. Always the positive thinker, my wife had joked about us having twins prior to our BFP and was so excited when she found out they both implanted.
Over the next few weeks we did several ultrasounds (1 weekly with our RE) and I grew more and more excited for our babies. By week 9 my RE "released" me from his care and said I should make an appointment with my OB to continue my pre-natal care. I made an appointment for two weeks later but before I could be seen by my regular OB I had to be seen by another doctor (let's call him Dr. Gray) in order to first confirm my pregnancy. Dr. Gray came in and did an ultrasound, saw baby A (who was always front and center) and then quickly looked in baby B's direction and pulled out the u/s scope. He proceeded to tell me (with the biggest smile you can imagine) that "this other one isn't viable so you will be having a singleton pregnancy, congratulations!" I was stunned, not just by the news that I had lost one of our babies but more so by the cheery way in which he delivered that news. I couldn't believe it since I had just seen the babies and heard their heartbeats two days before! I asked him to look again since my RE always had to pull uncomfortably on the scope so we could see baby B because he was in a more difficult spot to see. He said he was sure and when I asked "so when is it confirmed" he said "Oh I'm pretty much confirming it now, but if it makes you feel better I can refer you to our u/s tech for the day after tomorrow, it was nice to meet you!" And then out the door he went.
I was in shock and I immediately called my wife in tears telling her what had just happened. She was pretty upset and confused as well, so we decided to go back to our RE and see what he had to say. Luckily he got us in for an u/s the very next morning and to our surprise "still two babies, two heartbeats!" he happily stated... At this point I didn't know what to think! I had already spent the entire night preparing for bad news and now I was thrown for a loop again. I wanted to just kill Dr. Gray but decided I would keep the appointment with their u/s tech (which was the next day) and make sure all was still ok.
Still not confident about how this would turn out I walked in to meet Joanie (the u/s tech) and explained to her what had happened. She was super nice and said if there are babies she will find them, and she did - BOTH of them!
At this point I had just reached 11 weeks. Hoping the worst part was over, I looked forward to getting rid of the all day "morning" sickness, but every day it only seemed to get worse. I could barely eat or drink anything without running to the bathroom to be sick right after. I'd pace the halls in our house nightly for at least an hour before I could get myself to lie down. I threw up several times at work and started losing weight really fast. By week 12 I had lost about 20 pounds and remember lying in bed barely wanting to move. I had heard morning sickness was horrible so I figured I would just have to hang in there and it would ease. When I finally called my OB to get some relief she had me come in for a check-up. I was there long enough for her to get a urine sample before she sent me over to be admitted into L&D for severe dehydration and a diagnoses of hyperemesis. For 3 days I had 3 separate IV lines all running at the same time to refill my fluids. I was also on a medication to ease my condition which made me want to rip off my skin and run out of there! It was a nightmare! I had to be taken to the cardiology unit to monitor my heart because the medication they gave me tends to slow down your heart rate -which could be dangerous for me and the babies.
When I was finally released they sent me home with pills to take (which was very difficult since I wasn't able to hold anything down) and I took them for a while but then decided I was well enough to just suffer it out. Luckily I was able to take time off work, because my nausea didn't ease up until I was about 6 months pregnant and it never completely went away. When I finally did go back to work I was 24 weeks pregnant and barely gaining weight. I had probably only gained 12 pounds. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes shortly after but didn't require any insulin. I met with a nutritionist who was supposed to help me gain weight without causing my diabetes to worsen. We did exactly what she said (even measuring our portions) and in a week she made me lose 3 pounds (which is very bad during pregnancy-especially twins) which is when I decided I was on my own and I wouldn't be following her advice.
I was barely at work for a month when I went in for my OB check-up and they found my blood pressure was very high. I was immediately sent to L&D and told that I had developed pre-eclampsia. I was told I would deliver that night if my blood pressure didn't go down. I was 29 weeks 6 days pregnant and so NOT ready to have my babies.
I made it a week before I was diagnosed with HELLP syndrome and was forced to deliver at 31 weeks. My liver was failing and my platelets were dropping and the risk to my life outweighed the benefit of keeping the babies in any longer. I was really scared for the babies and didn't really know what to expect. I just hoped they'd survive and wouldn't have any major health issues but after speaking to the director of the NICU and doing some research I knew we'd have a long road ahead. So, after 12 horrible days in L&D (due to really awful nursing staff on top of the stress of a pending preterm delivery), on April 10th 2009, I delivered our two beautiful baby boys via c-section. Weighing a little over 3 pounds each they were super tiny and were immediately taken to the NICU.
Over the next few weeks we did several ultrasounds (1 weekly with our RE) and I grew more and more excited for our babies. By week 9 my RE "released" me from his care and said I should make an appointment with my OB to continue my pre-natal care. I made an appointment for two weeks later but before I could be seen by my regular OB I had to be seen by another doctor (let's call him Dr. Gray) in order to first confirm my pregnancy. Dr. Gray came in and did an ultrasound, saw baby A (who was always front and center) and then quickly looked in baby B's direction and pulled out the u/s scope. He proceeded to tell me (with the biggest smile you can imagine) that "this other one isn't viable so you will be having a singleton pregnancy, congratulations!" I was stunned, not just by the news that I had lost one of our babies but more so by the cheery way in which he delivered that news. I couldn't believe it since I had just seen the babies and heard their heartbeats two days before! I asked him to look again since my RE always had to pull uncomfortably on the scope so we could see baby B because he was in a more difficult spot to see. He said he was sure and when I asked "so when is it confirmed" he said "Oh I'm pretty much confirming it now, but if it makes you feel better I can refer you to our u/s tech for the day after tomorrow, it was nice to meet you!" And then out the door he went.
I was in shock and I immediately called my wife in tears telling her what had just happened. She was pretty upset and confused as well, so we decided to go back to our RE and see what he had to say. Luckily he got us in for an u/s the very next morning and to our surprise "still two babies, two heartbeats!" he happily stated... At this point I didn't know what to think! I had already spent the entire night preparing for bad news and now I was thrown for a loop again. I wanted to just kill Dr. Gray but decided I would keep the appointment with their u/s tech (which was the next day) and make sure all was still ok.
Still not confident about how this would turn out I walked in to meet Joanie (the u/s tech) and explained to her what had happened. She was super nice and said if there are babies she will find them, and she did - BOTH of them!
At this point I had just reached 11 weeks. Hoping the worst part was over, I looked forward to getting rid of the all day "morning" sickness, but every day it only seemed to get worse. I could barely eat or drink anything without running to the bathroom to be sick right after. I'd pace the halls in our house nightly for at least an hour before I could get myself to lie down. I threw up several times at work and started losing weight really fast. By week 12 I had lost about 20 pounds and remember lying in bed barely wanting to move. I had heard morning sickness was horrible so I figured I would just have to hang in there and it would ease. When I finally called my OB to get some relief she had me come in for a check-up. I was there long enough for her to get a urine sample before she sent me over to be admitted into L&D for severe dehydration and a diagnoses of hyperemesis. For 3 days I had 3 separate IV lines all running at the same time to refill my fluids. I was also on a medication to ease my condition which made me want to rip off my skin and run out of there! It was a nightmare! I had to be taken to the cardiology unit to monitor my heart because the medication they gave me tends to slow down your heart rate -which could be dangerous for me and the babies.
When I was finally released they sent me home with pills to take (which was very difficult since I wasn't able to hold anything down) and I took them for a while but then decided I was well enough to just suffer it out. Luckily I was able to take time off work, because my nausea didn't ease up until I was about 6 months pregnant and it never completely went away. When I finally did go back to work I was 24 weeks pregnant and barely gaining weight. I had probably only gained 12 pounds. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes shortly after but didn't require any insulin. I met with a nutritionist who was supposed to help me gain weight without causing my diabetes to worsen. We did exactly what she said (even measuring our portions) and in a week she made me lose 3 pounds (which is very bad during pregnancy-especially twins) which is when I decided I was on my own and I wouldn't be following her advice.
I was barely at work for a month when I went in for my OB check-up and they found my blood pressure was very high. I was immediately sent to L&D and told that I had developed pre-eclampsia. I was told I would deliver that night if my blood pressure didn't go down. I was 29 weeks 6 days pregnant and so NOT ready to have my babies.
I made it a week before I was diagnosed with HELLP syndrome and was forced to deliver at 31 weeks. My liver was failing and my platelets were dropping and the risk to my life outweighed the benefit of keeping the babies in any longer. I was really scared for the babies and didn't really know what to expect. I just hoped they'd survive and wouldn't have any major health issues but after speaking to the director of the NICU and doing some research I knew we'd have a long road ahead. So, after 12 horrible days in L&D (due to really awful nursing staff on top of the stress of a pending preterm delivery), on April 10th 2009, I delivered our two beautiful baby boys via c-section. Weighing a little over 3 pounds each they were super tiny and were immediately taken to the NICU.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Who we are...
We are two moms raising our 3 month old twin boys in Southern California. We have been together 4 years and are one of 18,000 couples whose marriage is still valid and recognized by the state.
Last year we decided we wanted to expand our family (which also included our 3 mini dachshunds) and have our first baby. We skipped right to IVF because we wanted to have my wifes egg implanted into my uterus so I would carry her embryo for the first pregnancy and then I'd carry my own for the second pregnancy (we did it this way since she is a few years older than me and didn't want to experience pregnancy). I switched my insurance at work to the more expensive plan and added my wife to it since it covered IVF and other fertility treatments at 90%. I started doing some research and spoke to some friends of ours who were also going through IVF. They referred us to an RE who we met with in February of 2008. They gave us a bunch of guidelines to start preparing my body for pregnancy and we arranged to start the process in mid July of 2008. We wanted the baby to be born by the end of June 2009 since my wife is a teacher and we could have the summer together (we never even considered the possibility of not being able to get pregnant- which after reading many ttc blogs, was very naïve of us).
The final and most difficult step was selecting a donor. We had originally wanted to use a good friend of ours but when he and his wife had trouble conceiving, we decided it was not the best situation. Luckily, a friend of mine met a woman who owned a sperm bank and had mostly worked with same-sex couples and got some info for us. After weeks of looking at on-line profiles we narrowed it down to five potential donors and then went in to view the long profiles and baby photos. Within an hour we had our donor.
At this point we were about a month away from starting our mock cycle. We purchased two IVF vials of sperm and had it delivered to our RE for storage. During this month I spent most my time reading ttc blogs and researching what we should expect with IVF. When the time came, we did all our shots, ultrasounds, vitamins, etc. We retrieved 11 embryos of which 10 fertilized and made it to blasts. I had a good feeling we would get pregnant right away so I only wanted to transfer one embryo, but at the very last second (as I lay on the table ready for transfer) our RE convinced us to do 2 to avoid having to go through all of the shots again. We hesitantly agreed and we transferred two of my wifes embryos into my uterus.
Four days after transfer I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive - I immediately knew it was twins. Our first beta came back at 551 and they didn't even do a second beta. Instead we did an ultrasound a week later and at 5 weeks 4 days I found out we were indeed having twins. It was surreal, although I had a good feeling we would get pregnant, after reading so many ttc blogs of women like us trying month after month, and year after year to get pregnant, with no success, I had a little doubt. I couldn't believe that after our first and only try ever, we were pregnant and expecting twins!
Almost all the blogs I follow now were ones I found before I was even pregnant. I learned so much from these women and I loved how they were able to document their experiences so I wanted to start my own blog to do the same. Unfortunately I never got around to it because I had a less than perfect pregnancy (story to follow soon) and then the boys came 2 months early and were in the NICU for one month (baby a) and two months (baby b) which is a whole other story to follow later. So needless to say, any spare time I had was rather spent sleeping, eating or showering.
So here I am 3 months after giving birth to our twins, writing my first post. I hope to write often but one thing I've learned with twins is not to plan anything!
Last year we decided we wanted to expand our family (which also included our 3 mini dachshunds) and have our first baby. We skipped right to IVF because we wanted to have my wifes egg implanted into my uterus so I would carry her embryo for the first pregnancy and then I'd carry my own for the second pregnancy (we did it this way since she is a few years older than me and didn't want to experience pregnancy). I switched my insurance at work to the more expensive plan and added my wife to it since it covered IVF and other fertility treatments at 90%. I started doing some research and spoke to some friends of ours who were also going through IVF. They referred us to an RE who we met with in February of 2008. They gave us a bunch of guidelines to start preparing my body for pregnancy and we arranged to start the process in mid July of 2008. We wanted the baby to be born by the end of June 2009 since my wife is a teacher and we could have the summer together (we never even considered the possibility of not being able to get pregnant- which after reading many ttc blogs, was very naïve of us).
The final and most difficult step was selecting a donor. We had originally wanted to use a good friend of ours but when he and his wife had trouble conceiving, we decided it was not the best situation. Luckily, a friend of mine met a woman who owned a sperm bank and had mostly worked with same-sex couples and got some info for us. After weeks of looking at on-line profiles we narrowed it down to five potential donors and then went in to view the long profiles and baby photos. Within an hour we had our donor.
At this point we were about a month away from starting our mock cycle. We purchased two IVF vials of sperm and had it delivered to our RE for storage. During this month I spent most my time reading ttc blogs and researching what we should expect with IVF. When the time came, we did all our shots, ultrasounds, vitamins, etc. We retrieved 11 embryos of which 10 fertilized and made it to blasts. I had a good feeling we would get pregnant right away so I only wanted to transfer one embryo, but at the very last second (as I lay on the table ready for transfer) our RE convinced us to do 2 to avoid having to go through all of the shots again. We hesitantly agreed and we transferred two of my wifes embryos into my uterus.
Four days after transfer I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive - I immediately knew it was twins. Our first beta came back at 551 and they didn't even do a second beta. Instead we did an ultrasound a week later and at 5 weeks 4 days I found out we were indeed having twins. It was surreal, although I had a good feeling we would get pregnant, after reading so many ttc blogs of women like us trying month after month, and year after year to get pregnant, with no success, I had a little doubt. I couldn't believe that after our first and only try ever, we were pregnant and expecting twins!
Almost all the blogs I follow now were ones I found before I was even pregnant. I learned so much from these women and I loved how they were able to document their experiences so I wanted to start my own blog to do the same. Unfortunately I never got around to it because I had a less than perfect pregnancy (story to follow soon) and then the boys came 2 months early and were in the NICU for one month (baby a) and two months (baby b) which is a whole other story to follow later. So needless to say, any spare time I had was rather spent sleeping, eating or showering.
So here I am 3 months after giving birth to our twins, writing my first post. I hope to write often but one thing I've learned with twins is not to plan anything!
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