So today my mom came over to clean our house, and when she cleans, SHE CLEANS. Since the cleaners we use can smell kinda strong, I don't like to be home when she is cleaning. Usually my wife and I will pack the boys up and head out shopping until she is done. This also helps to get us out of her way.
Since my wife is back at work, I was on my own with the boys and not brave enough to take them shopping alone. Luckily, I had just ordered a Mo.by.Wrap and it came in a few days ago. This is really helpful with holding a baby while doing other things. Not so helpful with holding two babies. I decided to let my mom start on the furthest part of the house and try and stay as long as possible. I nursed the big guy while bottlefeeding the little guy, but they didn't want to go to sleep. So, we went into the nursery and the little guy had some tummy time while the big guy was practicing sitting up in one of those Bu.mb.o chair thingys. This kept them occupied for about 30 minutes. Then we went back to our bed and I entertained them with songs for a while.
Once it started to smell, I got the boys and strapped the big guy in the moby and put the little guy in the stroller and took them for a walk around our gated community. IT WAS HOT outside so that did not last long.
The big guy fell asleep, but the little guy was wide awake so instead of walking endlessly around waiting for my mom to be done we stopped by her house (she lives up the street from me) and visited Nana (my grandmother who lives with my mom). Nana held the little guy and he was very chatty. The big guy slept in the mo.by the entire time. We spent a little over an hour there and then came home.
By this time it was time for them to eat, so rather than make a bottle and dirty the nice clean kitchen, I decided to nurse them both at the same time. Since we have been practicing, this went pretty well. They both fell asleep, and I prayed that my wife would hurry up and come home before they woke up. Two babies are ehausting!
My wife came home around 2pm, and made us lunch (because I didn't have time to eat with the two of them all day) and then took the big guy and rocked him to sleep. I kept the little guy on my lap while I pumped and then put him down once he fell asleep.
I don't know how some moms do it on their own after 3 months when the second parent goes back to work. I have a friend who just had twins in July and his girlfriend has been home with them ALONE for like a month now. She is my hero. I guess when you have no other choice, you manage, and they get used to whatever routine you give them. But logistically, it is not easy! Especially when venturing out of the house!
Our boys are used to being carried and attended to 24/7 because there were two of us and we were home with them all day. Monday thru Thursday my mom is with me so we resumed our same routine, but Fridays she is off baby duty so she can clean, so that just leaves me. I can handle them just fine on my own at home, but I've never gone anywhere with them alone. Usually, you get to practice this when you have small babies that just sleep, but since ours were in the NICU during that 'honeymoon' phase, we didn't get to do that. So I'm just figuring it out now.
The boys are getting heavy together (25 pounds combined, and they are only getting heavier!) and since they are both holding up their heads and kicking when they get excited, its tiring to hold them while trying to make sure they dont head bunt eachother while moving around!
I think it went ok considering it was our first "Friday", but I'm hoping next week goes a little better. I think I spent most of the time stressed that they were about to cry that I didn't really enjoy just being with them, and they didn't even cry! Next week I plan to pack up ahead of time and maybe take them out, somewhere with A/C!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Back To School
This week my wife goes back to school both as a teacher and a student. Its going to be a busy year for her. Aside from teaching, coaching, and being her school's Athletic Director, she is going to be starting her Masters Program and will have class once a week in the evening. Add that to the job of "Mommy" and you have one heavy plate!
We have had all summer together with our babies and for this we are thankful, but with the end of summer comes the beginning of a new routine. Now that my wife will be gone during the day my mom will step in and help out full time.
I'm going to miss having our little family all together all day long, but I'm happy we have made it this far. Closing this chapter means letting go of the toughest first months of our parenting lives...and although I never really will, I'm happy to try. I remember sitting in between the boys incubators praying to fast forward to where we are today. All I wanted was to bring my babies home, for them to be happy and healthy and for the four of us to start our lives together and finally, FINALLY we are here.
Since it will be a few more months before I have to go back to work, I am going to cherish every second I get to be a stay at home mom. The boys are finally at the stage where I can handle them on my own, for the most part, but there are still times when a second pair of hands comes in ..."handy". I've mastered nursing the big guy while bottle feeding the little one, and as long as we keep moving, all is good. The evenings when my wife isn't here will be the hardest, but I will figure it out. As the boys get older it should get easier.
In preparation of flying solo, I spent a few hours at the spa today "re-energizing" and came home sleepier than I've been in months! I got a massage, facial and a foot treatment but most importantly I got a NAP! You would think I would be ready to go! So not the case! Hopefully I snap out of it by tomorrow.
The boys were good while I was gone, the big guy got his breastmilk in a bottle (which he hasn't had in over 3 weeks) and although hesitant, took it without a fuss. My mom was here helping out with the little guy and even made us some chicken wraps for dinner. We skipped bath time because I just couldn't get to bed fast enough and the boys fell asleep by 8:30pm. All in all, a great day!
We have had all summer together with our babies and for this we are thankful, but with the end of summer comes the beginning of a new routine. Now that my wife will be gone during the day my mom will step in and help out full time.
I'm going to miss having our little family all together all day long, but I'm happy we have made it this far. Closing this chapter means letting go of the toughest first months of our parenting lives...and although I never really will, I'm happy to try. I remember sitting in between the boys incubators praying to fast forward to where we are today. All I wanted was to bring my babies home, for them to be happy and healthy and for the four of us to start our lives together and finally, FINALLY we are here.
Since it will be a few more months before I have to go back to work, I am going to cherish every second I get to be a stay at home mom. The boys are finally at the stage where I can handle them on my own, for the most part, but there are still times when a second pair of hands comes in ..."handy". I've mastered nursing the big guy while bottle feeding the little one, and as long as we keep moving, all is good. The evenings when my wife isn't here will be the hardest, but I will figure it out. As the boys get older it should get easier.
In preparation of flying solo, I spent a few hours at the spa today "re-energizing" and came home sleepier than I've been in months! I got a massage, facial and a foot treatment but most importantly I got a NAP! You would think I would be ready to go! So not the case! Hopefully I snap out of it by tomorrow.
The boys were good while I was gone, the big guy got his breastmilk in a bottle (which he hasn't had in over 3 weeks) and although hesitant, took it without a fuss. My mom was here helping out with the little guy and even made us some chicken wraps for dinner. We skipped bath time because I just couldn't get to bed fast enough and the boys fell asleep by 8:30pm. All in all, a great day!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
A Day in the Life...
The Big Guy getting ready for football season:
Changing:
The Twins getting ready for bed:
Hanging out:
I think I'm going to have to come up with new nicknames because the little guy isn't so little anymore and has caught up to his brother. I think he is even chubbier now!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Quarantine?
The little guy has been sounding somewhat congested the last few days, so I've been bracing myself for a cold to come on followed by some serious quarantine. So far the boys have made it 4.5 months without getting sick so I'm happy we've made it this far. However, I won't be happy if the little guy does get sick because with his breathing issues it could get pretty bad. For now, we are taking every precaution: keeping him warm, going back to every other day baths, keeping the humidifier on 24/7, keeping his monitor on 24/7 (so I can make sure he is oxygenating ok), limiting visitors, and practicing excellent hygiene-like we are in the NICU (maybe I will invest in 100 cases of the "good" jelly).
Of course, today my wife thinks he sounds better so maybe it isn't as bad as I'm thinking. I hope not anyway. As for the big guy, so far so good. He is a happy boy so long as he is fed, changed, bathed, and held. Thats the thing with twins (or siblings in general), when one is sick, the other is sure to follow!
With school starting and my wife being a teacher, I've already put a plan in place for disinfecting her when she comes home and before she handles the boys. I imagine I will be this way until they are about to go off to college, so I'm sure she is going to be used to it!
Of course, today my wife thinks he sounds better so maybe it isn't as bad as I'm thinking. I hope not anyway. As for the big guy, so far so good. He is a happy boy so long as he is fed, changed, bathed, and held. Thats the thing with twins (or siblings in general), when one is sick, the other is sure to follow!
With school starting and my wife being a teacher, I've already put a plan in place for disinfecting her when she comes home and before she handles the boys. I imagine I will be this way until they are about to go off to college, so I'm sure she is going to be used to it!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Jelly Dictator
When the boys were in the NICU my wife and I had to "scrub in" before we could see them. This consisted of washing with antibacterial soap from our hands to our elbows for one minute. I never knew a minute could take so long. I always sang the slow version of the Happy Birthday Song and at the last "...to you" my water was off and I was reaching for my paper towel. At the NICU I averaged about 7 Happy Birthdays per wash.
Now, let me give you a little information on me before I continue, I hate to have dry hands and I lotion up every moment I get to avoid the horrid sand paper feeling. OCD? Maybe. The soap at the NICU seemed to suck out every last natural oil I had in my hands. Even after the washing, it was highly recommend by the NICU nurses that you use antibacterial gel before and after you touch your baby.
Since we had twins I would have to "jelly" myself up between babies. Since we spent a lot of time there, it was a repetitive routine to cleanse my germy hands. I change a diaper, jelly. I touch my keys, jelly. I sneeze (which was often because it was like an icebox in the NICU), jelly. I scratch my nose, jelly. I think of touching something, JELLY! At the end of the day my hands felt 80 years old! BUT....I was always willing to do it because I didn't want the babies to get sick.
I think the doctors and nurses at the NICU scared my wife and I by telling us about all the infections the babies could get, hence we turned into antibacterial whores. Before the babies got discharged from the hospital my wife stocked up on "free" antibacterial gel. Each time we would visit the boys we came home with a few bottles. I would come home and excitedly tell my wife: "I got one!" and she would look at me disappointed and show me the five bottles she came home with. Needless to say my wife had no shame.
Once the boys were home we used that "jelly" like nobody's business. My wife turned into a "Jelly Dictator". Democracy was out the window. If she told you that you needed jelly, you took it with a smile. I jokenly told her I had nightmares about her chasing me with antibacterial gel. She didn't think it was funny.
On one of our first pulmonary appointments for the little guy we were sent to wait for our doctor in an exam room. While we were there my wife saw the antibacterial soap. Her eyes lit up. Why was I prying the soap dispenser off the wall for my wife? Why was I contributing to her jelly fetish? This was the same soap that sucked the life out of my hands at the NICU and now we were taking it home! Sand paper hands here I come. But.....the worst thing about this doctors visit was right after I took the antibacterial soap the doctor came in and of course he went to wash his hands and THEIR WAS NO SOAP! I was mortified and probably bright red. My wife on the other hand.....cool as a cucumber. No shame. I still love her though.
Now, let me give you a little information on me before I continue, I hate to have dry hands and I lotion up every moment I get to avoid the horrid sand paper feeling. OCD? Maybe. The soap at the NICU seemed to suck out every last natural oil I had in my hands. Even after the washing, it was highly recommend by the NICU nurses that you use antibacterial gel before and after you touch your baby.
Since we had twins I would have to "jelly" myself up between babies. Since we spent a lot of time there, it was a repetitive routine to cleanse my germy hands. I change a diaper, jelly. I touch my keys, jelly. I sneeze (which was often because it was like an icebox in the NICU), jelly. I scratch my nose, jelly. I think of touching something, JELLY! At the end of the day my hands felt 80 years old! BUT....I was always willing to do it because I didn't want the babies to get sick.
I think the doctors and nurses at the NICU scared my wife and I by telling us about all the infections the babies could get, hence we turned into antibacterial whores. Before the babies got discharged from the hospital my wife stocked up on "free" antibacterial gel. Each time we would visit the boys we came home with a few bottles. I would come home and excitedly tell my wife: "I got one!" and she would look at me disappointed and show me the five bottles she came home with. Needless to say my wife had no shame.
Once the boys were home we used that "jelly" like nobody's business. My wife turned into a "Jelly Dictator". Democracy was out the window. If she told you that you needed jelly, you took it with a smile. I jokenly told her I had nightmares about her chasing me with antibacterial gel. She didn't think it was funny.
On one of our first pulmonary appointments for the little guy we were sent to wait for our doctor in an exam room. While we were there my wife saw the antibacterial soap. Her eyes lit up. Why was I prying the soap dispenser off the wall for my wife? Why was I contributing to her jelly fetish? This was the same soap that sucked the life out of my hands at the NICU and now we were taking it home! Sand paper hands here I come. But.....the worst thing about this doctors visit was right after I took the antibacterial soap the doctor came in and of course he went to wash his hands and THEIR WAS NO SOAP! I was mortified and probably bright red. My wife on the other hand.....cool as a cucumber. No shame. I still love her though.
Friends
I have recently invited some of our friends (in real life) to come and check out our blog. Mostly, because I know we have been busy and not really accessible and they have been calling wanting to come over and visit our boys, but we just haven't been able to work it out.
The first few months were crazy and I barely even let our families come over. Now we are slowly letting people come over, but since we still don't have much of a schedule going, its uncomfortable to entertain while juggling the babies (they don't always cooperate).
Besides, with the whole preemie thing, I'm just not comfortable with having people over right now, especially because we have some pretty germy friends. :) You know who you are!
So, the rules:
#1 Don't pass the website on. I gave it to an exclusive list of people for a reason.
#2 Don't use our names or the boys names if you comment.
The first few months were crazy and I barely even let our families come over. Now we are slowly letting people come over, but since we still don't have much of a schedule going, its uncomfortable to entertain while juggling the babies (they don't always cooperate).
Besides, with the whole preemie thing, I'm just not comfortable with having people over right now, especially because we have some pretty germy friends. :) You know who you are!
So, the rules:
#1 Don't pass the website on. I gave it to an exclusive list of people for a reason.
#2 Don't use our names or the boys names if you comment.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Pieces of Them....
When my wife and I first started our journey through ttc, we had planned on me carrying her embie for the first pregnancy (we never thought we'd have twins) and then I'd carry my own for a second pregnancy. We did it this way because #1 She is older, so we wanted to make sure we'd get them while they were good, #2 She had a fear of being pregnant (mostly of childbirth). We only ever talked 2 kids, again, we never planned on having twins.
Well, our first pregnancy we got twins and I got sick, so sick that I don't ever desire to be pregnant again. Also, I don't have any strong feelings for or against having bio children, so if the twins happen to be the only babies we have, I am completely Ok with that. I love them to pieces and they have never felt like anything other than OURS.
That being said, my wife has had a change of heart with regards to pregnancy. Strange, I know, considering she witnessed first hand everything that could go wrong in a pregnancy. I think it was the fact that despite everything that did go wrong, there was one very good right, and that was feeling our babies move inside me and carrying them with me everywhere I went. Unless you have been pregnant before, there really is no other feeling like it. Through all of my misery, those baby kicks kept me going, and once I delivered them, I immediately "missed" them and missed being pregnant (strangely). Anyhow, I think it is something that she has decided she wants to experience, and I am all for it if that is what she wants. Besides, I know she will have an easy pregnancy and delivery. :)
Since we have the coverage, we will be doing IVF again when the time comes, and hopefully the conception part will go as quickly as with the twins. This time, she will carry my embie, and this time we will only implant ONE.
For our first IVF, the RE was very conservative with the meds since we were both young and had no history of infertility. They retrieved 11 eggs, of which 10 fertilized and we used 2. Of the 8 left, 6 froze and are still 'chillin' out at the RE's office. We weren't really sure how many tries it would take for us to get pregnant, and even once I was pregnant, we wanted to make sure I would make it to delivery before figuring out what to do with the frozen goods. Of course we were pregnant on that very first try, and now that the boys have been born, we have been discussing what she would like to do with her frozen "babies". We've been paying the storage fee for almost a year now, and we have no intention of using them, so its about time we decide what to do with them.
Here is where it shows that she is a much better person than I am. She wants to donate them to a needy couple. If it were me, I just couldn't do it, and this is something I have been thinking about for when we do my retrieval. I think I am too much of a control freak to put "my babies" in someone elses hands. Selfish, I know. She keeps reminding me that if it were not for some wonderful guy out there, we would not have our baby boys, and I agree wholeheartedly. I just think its a little different. Since her eggs are already fertilized, these "babies" will be 100% related to our boys. Usually when you are just an egg donor, then whoever gets them fertilizes them with their own sperm and the relation is just 50% (I have no idea why that matters-but it does). I just keep thinking that if they were to get pregnant using these frozen "babies" someone out there could have a little guy or a big guy just.like.ours.
However, I would also hate for these "babies" to go to waste. I don't want to just have them "destroyed" which is the other option. So, what do we do? Keep them frozen forever? Donate them to research? Be like the famous Oc.to.mom. and use them all? lol that will never happen!
I think a part of me is just not ready to let them go. I am even thinking about skipping the part where we use my embies and just use hers again and do a FET. But again, I would only want to implant one and I think they are frozen in pairs. I don't know what we would do if we got twins again, but I realize that a FET probably has a lower implantation rate. Still, not a chance we are willing to take. We love our twins, but given the choice we would like to see what its like to have just ONE newborn, and I think pregnancy would be alot easier with just a singleton.
Geez, am I really talking about our "next" baby? Crazy, I know, given the last few days we just had!
Well, our first pregnancy we got twins and I got sick, so sick that I don't ever desire to be pregnant again. Also, I don't have any strong feelings for or against having bio children, so if the twins happen to be the only babies we have, I am completely Ok with that. I love them to pieces and they have never felt like anything other than OURS.
That being said, my wife has had a change of heart with regards to pregnancy. Strange, I know, considering she witnessed first hand everything that could go wrong in a pregnancy. I think it was the fact that despite everything that did go wrong, there was one very good right, and that was feeling our babies move inside me and carrying them with me everywhere I went. Unless you have been pregnant before, there really is no other feeling like it. Through all of my misery, those baby kicks kept me going, and once I delivered them, I immediately "missed" them and missed being pregnant (strangely). Anyhow, I think it is something that she has decided she wants to experience, and I am all for it if that is what she wants. Besides, I know she will have an easy pregnancy and delivery. :)
Since we have the coverage, we will be doing IVF again when the time comes, and hopefully the conception part will go as quickly as with the twins. This time, she will carry my embie, and this time we will only implant ONE.
For our first IVF, the RE was very conservative with the meds since we were both young and had no history of infertility. They retrieved 11 eggs, of which 10 fertilized and we used 2. Of the 8 left, 6 froze and are still 'chillin' out at the RE's office. We weren't really sure how many tries it would take for us to get pregnant, and even once I was pregnant, we wanted to make sure I would make it to delivery before figuring out what to do with the frozen goods. Of course we were pregnant on that very first try, and now that the boys have been born, we have been discussing what she would like to do with her frozen "babies". We've been paying the storage fee for almost a year now, and we have no intention of using them, so its about time we decide what to do with them.
Here is where it shows that she is a much better person than I am. She wants to donate them to a needy couple. If it were me, I just couldn't do it, and this is something I have been thinking about for when we do my retrieval. I think I am too much of a control freak to put "my babies" in someone elses hands. Selfish, I know. She keeps reminding me that if it were not for some wonderful guy out there, we would not have our baby boys, and I agree wholeheartedly. I just think its a little different. Since her eggs are already fertilized, these "babies" will be 100% related to our boys. Usually when you are just an egg donor, then whoever gets them fertilizes them with their own sperm and the relation is just 50% (I have no idea why that matters-but it does). I just keep thinking that if they were to get pregnant using these frozen "babies" someone out there could have a little guy or a big guy just.like.ours.
However, I would also hate for these "babies" to go to waste. I don't want to just have them "destroyed" which is the other option. So, what do we do? Keep them frozen forever? Donate them to research? Be like the famous Oc.to.mom. and use them all? lol that will never happen!
I think a part of me is just not ready to let them go. I am even thinking about skipping the part where we use my embies and just use hers again and do a FET. But again, I would only want to implant one and I think they are frozen in pairs. I don't know what we would do if we got twins again, but I realize that a FET probably has a lower implantation rate. Still, not a chance we are willing to take. We love our twins, but given the choice we would like to see what its like to have just ONE newborn, and I think pregnancy would be alot easier with just a singleton.
Geez, am I really talking about our "next" baby? Crazy, I know, given the last few days we just had!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Exhaustion
These last two days have been horribly exhausting. Its like just when you think you've got a good routine down, they rebel and it all goes down the drain.
Wednesday was a VERY hard day. The boys were awake most of the day wanting to be held and if they slept it was only for about 45 minutes max and only while in arms. We had no time to do much else other than hold a baby and it showed! Our house looked like a tornado went through it, we barely found time to eat, and we were all super tired!
The boys started off pretty ready to go to bed after bathtime, so I laid with the big guy and nursed him until he fell asleep while my wife fed the little guy. Usually I'll take this time to rest for an hour or two before I have to get up to pump, but the little guy was having a meltdown with my wife so I got up to try and comfort him. BAD IDEA!
As soon as the big guy realized I was no longer there, he woke up. My wife tried to comfort him while I was tending to the little guy, but he wanted "the boob" and nothing else was going to satisfy him. Needless to say he was NOT happy.
So, while I'm tending to the little one, who has calmed down by now, the big guy has a major MELTDOWN. So my wife brought him back and I tried to nurse them both at the same time, since its what they both want. BAD IDEA!
They didn't like being put side by side to nurse and each took turns screaming their little heads off. So much so, that they wouldn't even latch on. By this time, we were both exhausted, the babies were screaming, and there seemed to be no end in sight.
Since the little guy wears his monitor at night, we were able to see his heartrate, and it was through the roof, NOT GOOD. So I quickly nursed the big guy until he settled down while my wife tried to calm the little guy. As soon as the big guy was calm, we switched. He woke up again but this time she was able to rock him back to sleep. So now, I'm back with the little guy. He is AWAKE and more fussy than I've seen him in a long time. After 3 HOURS of comforting him (at this point he didn't even want to nurse) he finally fell asleep. Instead of getting up to pump, it was time for the big guy to eat, so we switched babies AGAIN, and I nursed the big guy back to sleep and my wife laid very carefully next to the little guy to try and get some sleep. The little guy skipped this feed all together since he had just fallen asleep and we were NOT going to wake him up.
So now, its 3AM, I'm exhausted and I have to pump. So I wake up my wife to switch babies AGAIN so I could pump and she could lay with the big guy. Of course once I'm all hooked up and ready to go the little guy wakes up and is hungry (since he skipped his last feed) and ready to eat. So I disconnect, and get up to change him. In my sleep deprived state, I manage to leave his diaper open while I throw away the dirty one and he pees all over himself, his jammie, and the changing table. GREAT! As I'm about to cry I look over at him and he's all smiles! So of course I have to laugh. I give him some kisses and then clean him up, get him a new jammie and resume his feeding.
Its 4:01AM now, and I'm pumping with the little guy asleep on my shoulder. I'm hoping I can put him down when I'm done without waking him and I can get at least 2 hours of sleep before the big guy wakes up ready to eat again. *sigh* as soon as I lay down he is ready to eat AGAIN. This time I just turned over and nursed him while laying down. Finally I got some sleep.
Thursday felt like one big hangover. We were all so tired all we did was hang out in bed and nap. The boys took a 4 hour nap and we both joined them. I was starving but too tired to get up and eat, BIG mistake. By the time I was ready to eat, the babies were awake and it was bathtime, feeding time, and bedtime. When they finally fell asleep (which was later than usual because of the long nap) I had a massive headache. It was so bad I was nauseous. Of course my wife is telling me to go eat something but there is no way I could without getting sick. So I had a small fruit cup and a protein shake, and waited it out. It just kept getting worse. So finally when the babies were OUT I jumped in the shower (its like 11pm at this point). After a long hot shower I finally feel better.
Today we are back on track. Babies are happy, eating and napping. Hopefully tonight we can resume our 8pm bedtime and mommies can get a break. Its been a while since our days/nights/mornings have been this crazy, I don't miss this part of our newborn days!
Wednesday was a VERY hard day. The boys were awake most of the day wanting to be held and if they slept it was only for about 45 minutes max and only while in arms. We had no time to do much else other than hold a baby and it showed! Our house looked like a tornado went through it, we barely found time to eat, and we were all super tired!
The boys started off pretty ready to go to bed after bathtime, so I laid with the big guy and nursed him until he fell asleep while my wife fed the little guy. Usually I'll take this time to rest for an hour or two before I have to get up to pump, but the little guy was having a meltdown with my wife so I got up to try and comfort him. BAD IDEA!
As soon as the big guy realized I was no longer there, he woke up. My wife tried to comfort him while I was tending to the little guy, but he wanted "the boob" and nothing else was going to satisfy him. Needless to say he was NOT happy.
So, while I'm tending to the little one, who has calmed down by now, the big guy has a major MELTDOWN. So my wife brought him back and I tried to nurse them both at the same time, since its what they both want. BAD IDEA!
They didn't like being put side by side to nurse and each took turns screaming their little heads off. So much so, that they wouldn't even latch on. By this time, we were both exhausted, the babies were screaming, and there seemed to be no end in sight.
Since the little guy wears his monitor at night, we were able to see his heartrate, and it was through the roof, NOT GOOD. So I quickly nursed the big guy until he settled down while my wife tried to calm the little guy. As soon as the big guy was calm, we switched. He woke up again but this time she was able to rock him back to sleep. So now, I'm back with the little guy. He is AWAKE and more fussy than I've seen him in a long time. After 3 HOURS of comforting him (at this point he didn't even want to nurse) he finally fell asleep. Instead of getting up to pump, it was time for the big guy to eat, so we switched babies AGAIN, and I nursed the big guy back to sleep and my wife laid very carefully next to the little guy to try and get some sleep. The little guy skipped this feed all together since he had just fallen asleep and we were NOT going to wake him up.
So now, its 3AM, I'm exhausted and I have to pump. So I wake up my wife to switch babies AGAIN so I could pump and she could lay with the big guy. Of course once I'm all hooked up and ready to go the little guy wakes up and is hungry (since he skipped his last feed) and ready to eat. So I disconnect, and get up to change him. In my sleep deprived state, I manage to leave his diaper open while I throw away the dirty one and he pees all over himself, his jammie, and the changing table. GREAT! As I'm about to cry I look over at him and he's all smiles! So of course I have to laugh. I give him some kisses and then clean him up, get him a new jammie and resume his feeding.
Its 4:01AM now, and I'm pumping with the little guy asleep on my shoulder. I'm hoping I can put him down when I'm done without waking him and I can get at least 2 hours of sleep before the big guy wakes up ready to eat again. *sigh* as soon as I lay down he is ready to eat AGAIN. This time I just turned over and nursed him while laying down. Finally I got some sleep.
Thursday felt like one big hangover. We were all so tired all we did was hang out in bed and nap. The boys took a 4 hour nap and we both joined them. I was starving but too tired to get up and eat, BIG mistake. By the time I was ready to eat, the babies were awake and it was bathtime, feeding time, and bedtime. When they finally fell asleep (which was later than usual because of the long nap) I had a massive headache. It was so bad I was nauseous. Of course my wife is telling me to go eat something but there is no way I could without getting sick. So I had a small fruit cup and a protein shake, and waited it out. It just kept getting worse. So finally when the babies were OUT I jumped in the shower (its like 11pm at this point). After a long hot shower I finally feel better.
Today we are back on track. Babies are happy, eating and napping. Hopefully tonight we can resume our 8pm bedtime and mommies can get a break. Its been a while since our days/nights/mornings have been this crazy, I don't miss this part of our newborn days!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Making Waves
Remember when I said scheduling anything with twins was tough? Well, we finally scheduled something! Every day at 7pm we have bathtime, and the boys LOVE bath time. We turn on the shower in our master bath and close the door to our room to make it nice and warm, we put their whale tub on our sink, fill it up with warm water, and take turns bathing a baby.
Usually the boys like to stare at themselves in the mirror and just relax. Sometimes they get so comfy they fall asleep! Today they were making waves! It was mostly the big guy who discovered how to splash us, but they were both enjoying kicking their legs in the water. It was the cutest thing and they had a blast! I had to change my outfit because I was literally soaked!
Lately they have been trying to talk more, making funny faces and sounds. They have both found their hands and the big guy is starting to try and get at his feet. One of the things I love most about being a Mama is watching them grow and make new discoveries. *sigh* It all seems to happen overnight. These are moments I will treasure for all of my life.
Yesterday I finally watched the video of their birth and I can't believe how small they were! It was amazing to watch. I highly recommend recording your delivery, even if its just for your own private viewing. For us, it was another reminder of how fragile they were, and how grateful we are for everyday we get to spend with our babies.
Its true what people say...they do grow so fast. Sometimes I miss my wrinkled little newborns and other days I can't wait to see what comes next! This is definitely the most exciting job I have ever had.
Usually the boys like to stare at themselves in the mirror and just relax. Sometimes they get so comfy they fall asleep! Today they were making waves! It was mostly the big guy who discovered how to splash us, but they were both enjoying kicking their legs in the water. It was the cutest thing and they had a blast! I had to change my outfit because I was literally soaked!
Lately they have been trying to talk more, making funny faces and sounds. They have both found their hands and the big guy is starting to try and get at his feet. One of the things I love most about being a Mama is watching them grow and make new discoveries. *sigh* It all seems to happen overnight. These are moments I will treasure for all of my life.
Yesterday I finally watched the video of their birth and I can't believe how small they were! It was amazing to watch. I highly recommend recording your delivery, even if its just for your own private viewing. For us, it was another reminder of how fragile they were, and how grateful we are for everyday we get to spend with our babies.
Its true what people say...they do grow so fast. Sometimes I miss my wrinkled little newborns and other days I can't wait to see what comes next! This is definitely the most exciting job I have ever had.
Monday, August 10, 2009
4 Months...
4 months ago today my doctor walked into my hospital room and said our time was up and that I would have to deliver our twin boys 9 weeks early or risk my life and theirs. To this day I have not watched the video of their birth (via c-sec) but maybe today, I will.
These past four months have been a whilrwind of emotions and I have yet to come to terms with the fact that my body just could not keep my babies in longer. Long enough to avoid a NICU stay, long enough for the little guy' lungs to fully develop, and long enough to avoid all the pain and suffering we all had to go through those first 2 months. And while it has gotten easier over time, I don't think that feeling of guilt will ever go away. There will always be the what ifs: what if I hadn't walked so much, what if I had stopped working sooner, what if I had eaten better. My doctor keeps telling me there is nothing I could have done to prevent the pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome but I'm not entirely convinced.
I have been looking at photos to remind myself how far we've come and it makes me so happy to see how well they are both doing now. Mostly the little guy, since he had a more difficult road to "here".
Today I wake up to two smiling, cooing babies who can breathe and eat without any gadgets or machines. Most people don't even think of these things but for us this is a huge accomplishment, and for that we are blessed. Now when people look at our family all they see are "twins!" and they have no idea what it took to bring these boys into this world and keep them here.
I love them more than I ever imagined I could love something and I will never take any second I have with them forgranted.
These past four months have been a whilrwind of emotions and I have yet to come to terms with the fact that my body just could not keep my babies in longer. Long enough to avoid a NICU stay, long enough for the little guy' lungs to fully develop, and long enough to avoid all the pain and suffering we all had to go through those first 2 months. And while it has gotten easier over time, I don't think that feeling of guilt will ever go away. There will always be the what ifs: what if I hadn't walked so much, what if I had stopped working sooner, what if I had eaten better. My doctor keeps telling me there is nothing I could have done to prevent the pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome but I'm not entirely convinced.
I have been looking at photos to remind myself how far we've come and it makes me so happy to see how well they are both doing now. Mostly the little guy, since he had a more difficult road to "here".
Today I wake up to two smiling, cooing babies who can breathe and eat without any gadgets or machines. Most people don't even think of these things but for us this is a huge accomplishment, and for that we are blessed. Now when people look at our family all they see are "twins!" and they have no idea what it took to bring these boys into this world and keep them here.
I love them more than I ever imagined I could love something and I will never take any second I have with them forgranted.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
The Boys, The Pump, The Schedule
The boys did so good yesterday for their first trip to my in laws. They didn't even cry the whole way there or back!
It started off with a delicious breakfast and then the big guy and I took a nap while my wife hung out with her mom and the little guy. The weather was perfect and all in all we had a great day. When we got home we bathed the boys and then fed them. After some small battles, we finally put them to sleep.
It started off with a delicious breakfast and then the big guy and I took a nap while my wife hung out with her mom and the little guy. The weather was perfect and all in all we had a great day. When we got home we bathed the boys and then fed them. After some small battles, we finally put them to sleep.
(The boys after bath time)
We are getting closer and closer to establishing a schedule, but still can't get them to bed by 8pm! Right now we are averaging a 10pm bedtime, a 2am feeding and then they are awake by 6 or 7am. My goal is more like an 8pm bedtime with a 2am feeding and then awake by 8am. Is that too much to ask of almost 4 month old twins??
I am a schedule kinda person and would love it if the twins cooperated. It has been tough though since I just started bfeeding the big guy, he isn't eating the same as he used to. He seems to want to eat more so I feed him more since I figure maybe he isn't getting enough. Its so hard to tell how much he is taking. I still pump for the little guy but only like 3 times a day. I was worried I would start to lose my milk but so far so good. I think all the bfeeding of the big guy all day keeps my supply up.
I just hope I can maintain my milk supply for both of them for at least a year. Since I plan to be home with them until they are 9 months old, I think the last 3 months will be the hardest, since that is when I will have to pump at work.
Hopefully before then the little guy will be able to breastfeed as well and I can get a break from pumping. Finding time to pump is hard when you have two babies wanting to be held.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
To Grandmas House We Go
Today we are getting ready to make a trip down to the OC to visit the boys grandma (my MIL). This is their first trip out there so she is pretty excited. She is making us breakfast and has invited her best friends (who we love) so they can finally meet our boys.
So far we are already late...which my wife isn't really happy about, but its not like we can really plan with these boys. Its their world, we just live in it! She has the car packed and now the boys are hungry, so rather than drive 40 minutes with hungry boys, we are feeding them (Which is why I have time to blog).
Let's hope the drive goes smoothly since they are fed and will hopefully be asleep. The weather should be nice and we plan on coming home in the afternoon before the boys get fussy. Wish us luck!
So far we are already late...which my wife isn't really happy about, but its not like we can really plan with these boys. Its their world, we just live in it! She has the car packed and now the boys are hungry, so rather than drive 40 minutes with hungry boys, we are feeding them (Which is why I have time to blog).
Let's hope the drive goes smoothly since they are fed and will hopefully be asleep. The weather should be nice and we plan on coming home in the afternoon before the boys get fussy. Wish us luck!
Friday, August 7, 2009
I Love...
* I love to kiss their smelly feet.
* I love how they smile when they get their diapers changed.
* I love how each day they show us more about their personalities.
* I love watching them look at themselves in the mirror as I bathe them.
* I love to steal kisses from them as they sleep.
* I love it when they are chatty, laughing, and smiling at me.
* I love how they kick their feet in their jammies.
* I love holding them as they fall asleep, and feeling their soft faces against my cheek.
* I love being able to nurse them, even if its only for a few minutes.
* I love comforting them when they cry.
* I love the little noises they make while they sleep.
* I love how their heads bounce when you walk with them.
* I love waking up everyday realizing that I'm a Mama and they are mine.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
a good nap = a good day
Maybe its a fluke but if this is a sign of things to come we will be very happy campers! At 11:30am I nursed the big guy and laid down in our bed with him to see if we could get in a little nap. My wife and the little guy joined us and we made it a family affair (we have a king size bed so there is plenty of room). I woke up just a little while ago and checked the time... THREE HOURS and everyone was still asleep! Of course, the minute I tried to sneak away the big guy started to wake-up, so I took him with me to change his diaper and am now nursing him as I type. I can hear the little guy making noises and my wife just got up to make him a bottle.
We haven't had a nap in so long!!! and I don't think we have ever all been asleep at the same time for a full 3 hour stretch. I feel like a whole new person! Even if it is a fluke, I am thankful for today.
We haven't had a nap in so long!!! and I don't think we have ever all been asleep at the same time for a full 3 hour stretch. I feel like a whole new person! Even if it is a fluke, I am thankful for today.
Poopy Boys
Can't have twins and not blog about poop! Our boys are good at taking turns: crying, waking, eating, and now... pooping!
Since birth, the big guy has been one pooping machine! He pooped just about every diaper change 8-10 times per day. He has always been taking breastmilk with human milk fortifier (extra calories and nutrients because of his preemie status) until recently when I was given the ok to exclusively breastfeed without the HMF. Well, since we stopped the HMF he stopped pooping, completely! Its been 5 days now and nothing. At first I was a little concerned but then looked online and read that exclusively breastfed babies go through a growth phase at around 2 months (which is their adjusted age when you count back from when they were supposed to be born) and stop pooping as regularly because they are using all their nutrients leaving little to no waste. As long as he isn't uncomfortable or fussy (which he isn't) there is nothing to worry about. I'm satisfied for tonight but will be double checking with our pediatrician in the morning.
The little guy on the other hand has always had trouble pooping. He would strain and strain, and we would give him ke.rns juice (per pediatrician) and ultimately an enema when it would get bad. When he would finally poop it was like black sludge oozing out(it was not really black cause that is bad- but very very dark green that it looked black). He would strain so much that he gave himself an umbelical hernia while he was in the NICU. The docs chalked it up to him being on much higher calorie HMF (since he was smaller), extra iron for his anemia, and all his meds.
Since coming home he has been taken off 80% of his meds and is down to half his HMF intake, and now HE is the pooping machine! And he doesn't just poop, he explodes, all the way up his back, hose him down, EXPLODES! On the positive side, he doesn't have to push too much so his little belly button is not as big (doc said it would take up to a year for his hernia to self correct).
Another good thing is that he has finally outgrown the Newborn diapers and was moved up to size 1 (hopefully they will hold more), just as the big guy moved up to size 2. Another milestone for our preemies!
We are hoping they both regulate and find a happy medium soon, but until then, we will be proceeding with caution!
Edited to Add: Just as I published this post the Big Guy joined the "Exploding Poop" club! So smelly!....so when does potty training start?
Since birth, the big guy has been one pooping machine! He pooped just about every diaper change 8-10 times per day. He has always been taking breastmilk with human milk fortifier (extra calories and nutrients because of his preemie status) until recently when I was given the ok to exclusively breastfeed without the HMF. Well, since we stopped the HMF he stopped pooping, completely! Its been 5 days now and nothing. At first I was a little concerned but then looked online and read that exclusively breastfed babies go through a growth phase at around 2 months (which is their adjusted age when you count back from when they were supposed to be born) and stop pooping as regularly because they are using all their nutrients leaving little to no waste. As long as he isn't uncomfortable or fussy (which he isn't) there is nothing to worry about. I'm satisfied for tonight but will be double checking with our pediatrician in the morning.
The little guy on the other hand has always had trouble pooping. He would strain and strain, and we would give him ke.rns juice (per pediatrician) and ultimately an enema when it would get bad. When he would finally poop it was like black sludge oozing out(it was not really black cause that is bad- but very very dark green that it looked black). He would strain so much that he gave himself an umbelical hernia while he was in the NICU. The docs chalked it up to him being on much higher calorie HMF (since he was smaller), extra iron for his anemia, and all his meds.
Since coming home he has been taken off 80% of his meds and is down to half his HMF intake, and now HE is the pooping machine! And he doesn't just poop, he explodes, all the way up his back, hose him down, EXPLODES! On the positive side, he doesn't have to push too much so his little belly button is not as big (doc said it would take up to a year for his hernia to self correct).
Another good thing is that he has finally outgrown the Newborn diapers and was moved up to size 1 (hopefully they will hold more), just as the big guy moved up to size 2. Another milestone for our preemies!
We are hoping they both regulate and find a happy medium soon, but until then, we will be proceeding with caution!
Edited to Add: Just as I published this post the Big Guy joined the "Exploding Poop" club! So smelly!....so when does potty training start?
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Groundhog Day
Our days have been freakishly routine since both the big and little guy have come home. Mirroring the boys: we eat, sleep, and well.....try and squeeze in a five minute shower when we can.
MEALS Our meals have turned into eating contests. As fun as that has always sounded to me it turns out my wife and I could give Kobayashi a run for his money. BRING ON THE HOTDOGS! We inhale our food in a matter of minutes because the boys are crying or will be crying soon. We have a rotational eating routine. 'Mama' entertains the boys while I make a very fast meal. Lately its been all about the fabulous quick and easy sandwich. Two pieces of bread with some cold cuts in the middle....DONE. If I want to make things exciting I toast the bread. Once the meal is complete, I bring it to the area of the house that we have decided to occupy for the day. After one Big Deep Breath the food gets sucked in and then we switch. This has been the trend for the majority of our meals. *Sigh*.......I use to enjoy eating.
SLEEP Sleep has gotten better. We now sleep for four hours straight during the night. This is a huge accomplishment considering we were averaging two hours of sleep on good days. I get up in the middle of the night to make bottles, stumbling with one eye open and glance in the mirror.... its like taking a glimpse at a scene from the Night of the Living Dead. *Sigh* I used to like looking in the mirror.
WHAT DAY IS IT? Make bottles, change diapers, feed babies, burp babies, hold and rock babies, try and put babies down, successfully put down babies, walk slowly and quietly away from babies, babies cry, pick up babies, rock babies again......time to feed babies. We have been living the same day over and over. My wife and I constantly asking each other what day it is and every single time we need to look at a calendar. Day of the week? What's that? She always thinks its Friday. We are both off work right now so it might as well be. I go back to work in 3 weeks and keep asking myself, " Where did the time go?". It feels like we just started the summer. Living the same day over and over makes me feel like I should be in Pennsylvania with Punxsutawney Phil.
Even though I can't taste my food, am definitely not presentable for public viewing, suffering from sleep deprivation and temporarily in a forgetful Twilight Zone...... I wouldn't change a thing! These boys are the best thing I've ever been a part of. Its very hard but definitely worth my recent weight gain. *Sigh* that's a whole other story.
MEALS Our meals have turned into eating contests. As fun as that has always sounded to me it turns out my wife and I could give Kobayashi a run for his money. BRING ON THE HOTDOGS! We inhale our food in a matter of minutes because the boys are crying or will be crying soon. We have a rotational eating routine. 'Mama' entertains the boys while I make a very fast meal. Lately its been all about the fabulous quick and easy sandwich. Two pieces of bread with some cold cuts in the middle....DONE. If I want to make things exciting I toast the bread. Once the meal is complete, I bring it to the area of the house that we have decided to occupy for the day. After one Big Deep Breath the food gets sucked in and then we switch. This has been the trend for the majority of our meals. *Sigh*.......I use to enjoy eating.
SLEEP Sleep has gotten better. We now sleep for four hours straight during the night. This is a huge accomplishment considering we were averaging two hours of sleep on good days. I get up in the middle of the night to make bottles, stumbling with one eye open and glance in the mirror.... its like taking a glimpse at a scene from the Night of the Living Dead. *Sigh* I used to like looking in the mirror.
WHAT DAY IS IT? Make bottles, change diapers, feed babies, burp babies, hold and rock babies, try and put babies down, successfully put down babies, walk slowly and quietly away from babies, babies cry, pick up babies, rock babies again......time to feed babies. We have been living the same day over and over. My wife and I constantly asking each other what day it is and every single time we need to look at a calendar. Day of the week? What's that? She always thinks its Friday. We are both off work right now so it might as well be. I go back to work in 3 weeks and keep asking myself, " Where did the time go?". It feels like we just started the summer. Living the same day over and over makes me feel like I should be in Pennsylvania with Punxsutawney Phil.
Even though I can't taste my food, am definitely not presentable for public viewing, suffering from sleep deprivation and temporarily in a forgetful Twilight Zone...... I wouldn't change a thing! These boys are the best thing I've ever been a part of. Its very hard but definitely worth my recent weight gain. *Sigh* that's a whole other story.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Hat Anybody?
Right about the time the boys were 3 months old I started losing my hair. At first it was no big deal, because before pregnancy I used to shed hair like crazy. I always had thick, long hair, and LOTS of it! So every time I showered I'd lose a ton of it. Well, during pregnancy I stopped losing my hair completely. It started when I was around 4 months. I was so happy because I always hated the ball of hair I had to clean so as not to clog our drain, and being that bending over got harder as my pregnancy progressed, it was a nice surprise to eliminate that one duty from my day to day.
Well my hair loss is back and making up for lost time! I have two growing bald spots above each of my temples, and a garbage can full of hair each day! It got so bad that one day I asked my wife to grab the kitchen scissors and cut off like 5 inches of my hair. If it was going to fall off anyway, at least it would be in shorter chunks. She was hesitant but she did, and now its more manageable.
I read online that hair loss after pregnancy was normal so I wasn't worried. I also have two of my best friends who recently had babies and they said it happened to them. But my scalp was starting to show, which I have never been able to see, so I wondered if maybe there was something else going on. My mom even said it looked like I was going through chemo and that I should see my doctor, which I did. Like all things twins, I'm getting everything double! Its a combination of breastfeeding twins (taking up all my nutrients), weight loss (I've lost upwards of 60 pounds in the last 3 months-a perk of breastfeeding twins), stress, and hormone changes.
She recommended I eat more protein and get more sleep. Since I know sleep is outta the question, I am upping my protein intake. I still take my pre-natal vitamins (although not as faithfully as I did when I was pregnant) and will be making sure I don't miss a dose.
If this continues, I will be pulling a Britney and shaving my head! Hmmmm... maybe I should start investing in a hat collection!
Well my hair loss is back and making up for lost time! I have two growing bald spots above each of my temples, and a garbage can full of hair each day! It got so bad that one day I asked my wife to grab the kitchen scissors and cut off like 5 inches of my hair. If it was going to fall off anyway, at least it would be in shorter chunks. She was hesitant but she did, and now its more manageable.
I read online that hair loss after pregnancy was normal so I wasn't worried. I also have two of my best friends who recently had babies and they said it happened to them. But my scalp was starting to show, which I have never been able to see, so I wondered if maybe there was something else going on. My mom even said it looked like I was going through chemo and that I should see my doctor, which I did. Like all things twins, I'm getting everything double! Its a combination of breastfeeding twins (taking up all my nutrients), weight loss (I've lost upwards of 60 pounds in the last 3 months-a perk of breastfeeding twins), stress, and hormone changes.
She recommended I eat more protein and get more sleep. Since I know sleep is outta the question, I am upping my protein intake. I still take my pre-natal vitamins (although not as faithfully as I did when I was pregnant) and will be making sure I don't miss a dose.
If this continues, I will be pulling a Britney and shaving my head! Hmmmm... maybe I should start investing in a hat collection!
Monday, August 3, 2009
A Long Day
Yesterday we had a lot going on. We had a mobile groomer come to groom our overly neglected dogs, both our moms were here to help with the babies so we could go out, and I had a ton of pumping to do so the babies would have enough fresh milk (I have over 300 ounces frozen- just in case).
I also had a ton of instructions to write, just in case my mom drew a blank in the midst of chaos, oh yeah and I needed to shower and put some make-up on so I don't go smelling like sour milk!
We needed to leave by 6:00pm to make it in to our seats for the 7:30 show, and maybe grab a bite to eat before the show. I calculated (yes, I calculate everything- its what I do!) that we'd be gone for 7 hours MAX which is at least 2 feeds. I laid out diapers, extra jammies, burp cloths, boppys, pacifiers (outlining who gets which color), medications, and a tentative feeding schedule (since we don't have an exact schedule going- sometimes they sleep longer and we let them!). I also made sure the dogs were in their beds and outta the way so as not to trip the baby-carrying grandmas.
We cleaned the house and left everything in order, got ready, fed the babies before we left and out the door we went. I was so nervous! I tried not to call too much but did call about once every hour to check-in. We had a great time, but both really mised our babies...we couldn't get home fast enough!
The lil guy did Ok but the big guy had a bit of a meltdown with my MIL, and she was having a hard time giving him up (she really wanted to be the one to soothe him). Luckily, my mom took over and was there to comfort him. Her style most closely matches ours, so the babies tend to do better with her, and she spends more time with them so that relationship is more established.
It was interesting to see that my mom was able to "take charge" of the situation and handle it the way we would have wanted her to. I am not only confident in her ability to take care of them when I go back to work, but also in her ability to make decisions and do what's best for the babies even if its not the most comfortable situation for her.
She is a very passive person for the most part, and doesn't like to step on anybody's toes, but she also really loves our boys and doesn't like for them to cry. I'm sure it was hard for her to step in and take the big guy from my MIL (she didn't want to hurt her feelings) but she waited as long as she could. She knew he was tired, she could soothe him and get him to sleep, and she did. She was a little worried it would cause some friction with my MIL but I assured her that she did the right thing and we would deal with any issues my MIL may have, although we don't expect anything to come up.
There are some insecurities my MIL may have that we will need to help her through. Since she isn't going to be with them everyday like my mom, I want to help her build her own special bond with the boys as they get older.
As a new mom, its important to me to be as fair as possible but these are tough waters to navigate. I guess its just one of those things you work out as you go along.
Needless to say, I don't think we will be having another night out for a while. Its a big job to take care of twins, and the stress of leaving them is just too much for me at this point. I'd be happier going to family friendly establishments when the boys are older and coming home before dark. =)
I also had a ton of instructions to write, just in case my mom drew a blank in the midst of chaos, oh yeah and I needed to shower and put some make-up on so I don't go smelling like sour milk!
We needed to leave by 6:00pm to make it in to our seats for the 7:30 show, and maybe grab a bite to eat before the show. I calculated (yes, I calculate everything- its what I do!) that we'd be gone for 7 hours MAX which is at least 2 feeds. I laid out diapers, extra jammies, burp cloths, boppys, pacifiers (outlining who gets which color), medications, and a tentative feeding schedule (since we don't have an exact schedule going- sometimes they sleep longer and we let them!). I also made sure the dogs were in their beds and outta the way so as not to trip the baby-carrying grandmas.
We cleaned the house and left everything in order, got ready, fed the babies before we left and out the door we went. I was so nervous! I tried not to call too much but did call about once every hour to check-in. We had a great time, but both really mised our babies...we couldn't get home fast enough!
The lil guy did Ok but the big guy had a bit of a meltdown with my MIL, and she was having a hard time giving him up (she really wanted to be the one to soothe him). Luckily, my mom took over and was there to comfort him. Her style most closely matches ours, so the babies tend to do better with her, and she spends more time with them so that relationship is more established.
It was interesting to see that my mom was able to "take charge" of the situation and handle it the way we would have wanted her to. I am not only confident in her ability to take care of them when I go back to work, but also in her ability to make decisions and do what's best for the babies even if its not the most comfortable situation for her.
She is a very passive person for the most part, and doesn't like to step on anybody's toes, but she also really loves our boys and doesn't like for them to cry. I'm sure it was hard for her to step in and take the big guy from my MIL (she didn't want to hurt her feelings) but she waited as long as she could. She knew he was tired, she could soothe him and get him to sleep, and she did. She was a little worried it would cause some friction with my MIL but I assured her that she did the right thing and we would deal with any issues my MIL may have, although we don't expect anything to come up.
There are some insecurities my MIL may have that we will need to help her through. Since she isn't going to be with them everyday like my mom, I want to help her build her own special bond with the boys as they get older.
As a new mom, its important to me to be as fair as possible but these are tough waters to navigate. I guess its just one of those things you work out as you go along.
Needless to say, I don't think we will be having another night out for a while. Its a big job to take care of twins, and the stress of leaving them is just too much for me at this point. I'd be happier going to family friendly establishments when the boys are older and coming home before dark. =)
Sunday, August 2, 2009
A Night Out
For the last 3.5 months my wife and I have been on baby duty 24/7. Since the boys were born, one of us has been with them pretty much at all times. If we go anywhere, its to a medical appointment or a quick trip to run errands. Either we both go, babies in tow, or one of us goes while the other stays with the boys.
Today we are going to the No.Doubt concert just her and I. My mom and mother-in-law are going to come over and watch the boys.
As expected, I am very apprehensive about leaving them. I bought the tickets before the boys were born (as a bday gift to my wife) thinking it wouldn't be an issue to have my mom watch them. I never thought I'd be so attached that I wouldn't want to leave them! Of course I trust them both, my mom has been over almost everyday and can do everything for them, but I still worry. I worry they will cry and be fussy, that they will miss us, but mostly that I will miss them.
I am hoping I can convince myself to get in the car and try and enjoy the concert and our time alone.
Its so amazing that we've spent years together, just us, and now after only 3 months as a foursome, I already forgot how to be a twosome again.
Today we are going to the No.Doubt concert just her and I. My mom and mother-in-law are going to come over and watch the boys.
As expected, I am very apprehensive about leaving them. I bought the tickets before the boys were born (as a bday gift to my wife) thinking it wouldn't be an issue to have my mom watch them. I never thought I'd be so attached that I wouldn't want to leave them! Of course I trust them both, my mom has been over almost everyday and can do everything for them, but I still worry. I worry they will cry and be fussy, that they will miss us, but mostly that I will miss them.
I am hoping I can convince myself to get in the car and try and enjoy the concert and our time alone.
Its so amazing that we've spent years together, just us, and now after only 3 months as a foursome, I already forgot how to be a twosome again.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Making Progress
Yesterday we headed out to our local county registrar-recorders office to get the boys birth certificates and some more copies of our marriage license. Funny how having the actual official document with both our names on it (even if my wife is under "father/parent" still gives me butterflies like "holy shit these really are our babies!" Even after almost 4 months I still can't believe it.
As for the logistics of leaving the house, we are making progress. Going out is not so scary anymore (aside from all the germy people). The babies have been doing better and we even got in a trip to Tar.get. Usually, I push the stroller and my wife pushes the cart. The boys tend to take turns crying, so I generally spend the shopping trip carrying one of them while pushing the stroller with the other one in it, switching babies from time to time.
I think since they hit the 3 month mark they are much easier to handle (even when they cry). The first 3 months were HARD, I didn't want to be alone with them for even a minute! They were so small and I did not like for them to cry. Although I still don't like to let them cry, handling them both at the same time on my own is not so scary anymore. I've even been able to feed them both at once and comfort them to sleep all BY MYSELF! That's a big deal. Adjusting to Twins is definitely something that gets easier in time. For those of you pregnant with twins, I highly suggest you get someone to help out for the first 3 months. Two people if possible!
On another note, we are also moving forward with the adoption of the boys. I needed the boys birth certificates to complete our adoption package so my wife could adopt them. I had already filed the paperwork in court just after they were born but the childrens services agency needed some other forms to complete their application and proceed with the homestudy. This is silly considering we are both on the birth certificate and she is the bio mom, but I want to make sure we cover all grounds in case we leave the state. Hopefully things will progress quickly and she is able to adopt the boys without a hitch.
As for the logistics of leaving the house, we are making progress. Going out is not so scary anymore (aside from all the germy people). The babies have been doing better and we even got in a trip to Tar.get. Usually, I push the stroller and my wife pushes the cart. The boys tend to take turns crying, so I generally spend the shopping trip carrying one of them while pushing the stroller with the other one in it, switching babies from time to time.
I think since they hit the 3 month mark they are much easier to handle (even when they cry). The first 3 months were HARD, I didn't want to be alone with them for even a minute! They were so small and I did not like for them to cry. Although I still don't like to let them cry, handling them both at the same time on my own is not so scary anymore. I've even been able to feed them both at once and comfort them to sleep all BY MYSELF! That's a big deal. Adjusting to Twins is definitely something that gets easier in time. For those of you pregnant with twins, I highly suggest you get someone to help out for the first 3 months. Two people if possible!
On another note, we are also moving forward with the adoption of the boys. I needed the boys birth certificates to complete our adoption package so my wife could adopt them. I had already filed the paperwork in court just after they were born but the childrens services agency needed some other forms to complete their application and proceed with the homestudy. This is silly considering we are both on the birth certificate and she is the bio mom, but I want to make sure we cover all grounds in case we leave the state. Hopefully things will progress quickly and she is able to adopt the boys without a hitch.
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