Changing Perspective

I never thought of myself as a stay-at-home mom. I went to a big school here in So. California (Go Trojans!) and had big plans for a BIG career. I got a job right out of college and after several promotions, I still work for that company today. I love my job, even though it can be stressful and have long hours. I like having to think on my feet and get things done at the wee hours to make a deadline. I work extremely well under pressure and do better in a fast-paced environment. I always pick the big projects to work on, even though they are more demanding and I'm always up for a challenge.

Before I met my wife, I didn't even want kids. I wanted to have a successful career, travel, buy a nice house, and "enjoy" life. I never knew what I'd be missing.

Now that I'm a mom, alot has changed. I thought I was going to take the standard 3-4 months off and be SO ready to go back. Its now been 6 months, and I have no plans to go back for another 3 months. Even then, I think it is going to be heartbraking. If I leave for an hour to run an errand I can't get home fast enough to see my boys.

I have never been happier than I am today. Having them, as hard as it can be sometimes, is the best thing that has ever happened to me. If I manage to get upset over something, it only lasts a second, because seeing their two little faces takes it all away.

As the time approaches for me to go back to work, I get more and more anxious. I am even considering taking a "lesser" position, so that I don't have to be at work so much. If I could afford it, I would quit working all together and just stay home with the babies. Something I never even considered. I always thought "I worked so hard to get into a good school, do well, and get a good job. Why would I want to throw that all away?" funny how perspective changes.