I recently went on the Donor.Sibling.Registry just out of curiosity to see if our boys had any half siblings out there, and there were 3! We used a "family" friendly sperm bank, so all 3 have two-mom households. I actually made contact with one mom, which I thought was pretty cool. Its strange that we have never met, but we are connected because our sons are genetically related. Its like having one big extended family. I'm not sure how we will adress them, if we ever meet, and if we will go through the whole explanation of how they are related or just be "friends" but its still pretty neat.
We exchanged information and have emailed a few times, she has made contact with the other two moms. They all had "term" babies so its interesting to see how they are doing in the growth department. Since our donor was 6' tall we were wondering how big the babies would be. Having preemies, we never can tell how they are growing since everything is "adjusted" (and I still don't understand how that computes).
Today I learned that all 3 siblings are in the 98th percentile in growth, so we are probably going to have some tall boys. I was excited to learn that, and felt lucky that even though they are our only babies, we still get the advantage of learning from these other moms who have older babies, kinda like having an older sister. It's also nice to know that if anyone has an allergies, or other illnesses, we can all get them checked for it. Again, kinda like family.
I was trying to see which babies look like "donor daddy" and so far, its hard to tell. We think the big guy looks like him, I'm tempted to post a picture to see what you all think, but I'm not sure I can do that (we did get a photo of the donor as a child).
I know some people are not so open about the whole "donor sharing" thing, and would rather only connect to exchange health information. I guess, we never really thought about the "others" until we brought our boys home, but we don't really see a reason to not connect if we have the opportunity.
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We have not connected with the family of the other offspring from our donor. It's a complicated subject. I do not want a realationship with them, but it would be nice to have access to any pertenint health information. And perhaps, when Miles is older he will wish to make contact with them himself. For now, I don't feel in any rush to initiate contact. I have registered with the sperm bank so that people who have offspring from the same donor can see limited information about us. (child's sex and DOB only)
ReplyDeleteI have weird "extended family" situations with my kids too, but it's all been a really positive experience...for the most part! Glad you made contact, even if is doesn't go beyond swapping medical info, etc. Your boys are so stinkin' cute!! And how awesome that it's all three two-mom households!!
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